Loving Myself, Loving You
by HerElle4Ever
Summary: SEQUEL TO 'IN ONE CONDITION' : Santana was an Emotional Wreck according to her friends. Who wouldn't be? More than a year has passed after Santana let Quinn go and she's now ready to move on with someone new, well, IS SHE? Is it Quinn and Santana's TIME now to FINALLY be together? Read and find out. Pairing: Quintana. :)
1. Emotional Wreck

**Grettings! So Finally, here's the first chapter to In One Condition sequel. **

**I wrote this one a bit different from the Prequel. No specific POV's that divides the chapters. I hope it won't be confusing but feel free to tell me if it does, okay? :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GLEE, the characters or everything included in this story. **

**All mistakes are mine..:)**

**Here it goes. Enjoy. ^_^**

* * *

**"Of course, that's how life is.**

**A turn of events may seem very small at the time it's happening,**

**but you never really know, do you? How can you?"**

**- Tom Xavier**

_ " You've __got to be kidding me."_ Santana can't believe what her eyes are seeing. There she was, sitting on the far side corner of Starbucks, with eyes wide open trying to figure out if she's really seeing the blonde or it's just her eyes playing tricks on her.

_"What is it San? Who are you looking at?"_ Rachel followed the direction she's looking. Intrigue of the sudden change on the Latina's reaction and who captured Santana's interest.

_"Just a sec."_ Rachel's eyebrow raised and wondered who could be that woman.

Santana stood up immediately and sorted first her rumpled shirt before walking toward the direction of the woman. Rachel never saw her before but judging on how Santana looked so surprise, she must be someone she never thought she would see, ever again.

_'Maybe it's not really her. It's been a year already. That can't be her, impossible.'_ Santana thought to herself. Her hair is different; it has curls, longer and darker. Santana perfectly remembered her hair to be light blonde and not beeline honey. She looks nothing like the last time they saw each other.

It was not long before the blonde has been aware of the pair of eyes that are focused solely on her. Ignoring the questioning looks that her friend throws at her.

_"Well, well, well. Look who finally found me."_ The blonde shook her head with a huge smile on her face, mirroring Santana's surprised expression. She stood up to get a better view of the Latina.

_"I knew it was you!"_ Santana exclaimed happily. She stooped quickly to embrace her which surprised both of the women.

_"Hello to you, too."_ She quickly regains her composure when Santana let go of her. _"By the way Santana, this is my best friend Trish." _Elle introduced the red hair woman to her.

Santana extended her hand which the other girl gladly accepts. "_Hi, nice to meet you."_ She gave her a sweet smile.

_"Same. Actually, I'm ecstatic to finally put a face to 'the' Santana tha-"_ Trish was cut off by now a blushing Elle. Something never changes; seriously this woman has this rude habit of cutting people's statements in mid sentences.

_"Whoa, Trish! Aren't you late for class?"_ Elle gave her a get-the-hell-out-of-here look. Trish just shook her head grinning.

Santana knew what was going on. She's happy that Elle talked about her.

When Elle saw Santana's grin, she rolled her eyes at her and smiles. Redness still visible on her face.

_"Okay, okay. I get it." _Trish laughs then held her hands up in complete surrender. "_It's really nice meeting you Santana." _She stood up.

_"Same."_ Then they both watch Trish went out the coffee place. When she's out of sight, Santana turned her head back to Elle then sits across her. _"You're here. How long?"_

Before Elle could answer, another brunette was standing beside the table, with a very confused look on her face and an annoyed look towards Santana.

_"Hi, excuse my rudeness but my friend here totally forgot that she's here with someone and it would be okay for me to wait for her to finally remember that I was waiting for her to come back, it's just I have a rehearsal in twenty . And also I can't help but notice, you're face looks familiar. I am Ra-" _

_"Rachel Berry, Broadway Princess, NYADA's finest grad with two Tony awards in a row."_ Elle confidently said which rendered the two brunettes speechless. _"It's nice to meet you." _She extends her hand to Rachel as she accepts it. Her eyebrow rose looking at Santana.

Santana rolled her eyes. _'Here we go..'_ Berry has this habit of telling her life story when someone recognizes her. It's freaking annoying to hear everytime.

_"Wow, I'm really flattered that you recognized me, although I'm really not that famous, yet. But when I star-"_ Santana growls, she can't believe Elle is intently listening to her.

_"Midget! Stop bombarding Elle with your life story!"_ Santana expected her to snap back but instead she heard her squeal as she pushes over Santana for her to sit. Her eyes and jaws wide open.

_" .Gosh! You're her! You're Elle!"_ Great! She thinks she'll prefer Trish's reaction than this. Trust Berry to be not overly dramatic all the time.

It's now Santana's time to blush and Elle's time to smirk.

_"Elizabeth. That's my real name." _Santana and Elle stared at each other as if they are memorizing each other's faces, forgetting that they are inside Starbucks and that Rachel is with them.

Rachel cleared her throat to get the attention of the two. They both blushed which she thought was really cute.

It's the first time Rachel saw Santana like this after what happened a year ago. Yes, it's been more than a year already. She saw Santana's worst six months of her life and with all the help Kurt and I could get, we're able to help Santana snap out of it.

Emotional wreck, that's what Kurt called her. During those six months, she didn't bring women home every night, she won't spend her nights at clubs drinking until stupor and she won't insult is (which was more than okay for us but still, it feels weird and different).

She just lie there in her bed like she was dead, no social life, just her and a bottle of jack to help her through the day.

Until on the seventh month, Kurt and I decided to call Brittany for help. Although she was very busy with her work managing her own dance studio, without questions asked she flies from Europe to see Santana.

They spent almost the whole day inside Santana's room while Kurt and I were waiting in the living room, dying to know what is happening inside. We heard some shouting (all from Santana), then there's some things being thrown at the wall, loud sobs then just pure silence.

It's past nine in the evening, when Santana and Britt went out of the room. Santana looks awful but I was glad to see something in her face, calmness. She walks up to me and hugged me tight. I just let her cry then she hugged Kurt next.

We didn't have the old Santana back right away but that was a good start. Britt's presence did her good; she would now talk to us and even show slight annoyance towards me and Kurt. She took it one step at a time, until she became better and her old bitch self (which surprisingly, we missed).

_"Earth to Midget?!"_ Santana is now waiving her hands in front of me.

_"Sorry, I spaced out."_ Rachel apologized to Elle which only gave her a smile.

_"Obviously."_ Santana rolled her eyes then focus her attention back to Elle. Rachel tried to catch up with their conversation.

Rachel learned that Elle just moved here in NY last week because of an offer to teach dance in a studio (oh! She's a dancer like Britt). She's a grad of Yale (hmm..okay, just like Quinn?) and doing photography as her past time. Elle continued to tell story about her life when again Rachel spaced out without being noticed by them.

She had a feeling she shouldn't like where this conversation is going. Every time Elle tells something about her, she feels like Britt and Quinn 2.0 is talking in front of her. She observes how Santana is listening carefully and _appreciatively_ to what she says. .Gosh! Is this why she was so interested in her before, because it's like the best of both worlds for her?

"I would really, really love to chat more but I have a class to attend to." Elle said apologetically to us. There is a sudden sadness on Santana's eyes but eventually was gone when Elle handed her a card. _"Call me, okay?"_ she sweetly said to Santana and gently place her hand on top of Santana's.

_"Sure thing."_ Santana smiled back.

_"Nice to see you, again."_ Elle said still smiling warmly then looks at Rachel. "And meet you."

_"You too. See you around."_ Rachel answered.

When she's finally out of sight, I turned my head to see a goofy Santana looking at the card and typing the number on her phone. She wants to ask Santana about what she just realized but her manager is now calling her on her phone. This could wait till she gets home later.

* * *

**"Letting go doesn't mean **

**that you don't care about someone anymore. **

**It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself."**

**- Deborah Reber**

Santana feels very happy to see Elle again. She really felt a connection between them, like before, she can't put her fingers to it but when she's with her, her heart is at peace. This is a new feeling for her because you know Santana doesn't do feelings, right? It's not like she's in love with her or something.

After Berry left her at Starbucks, Santana decided to go back to the studio to practice her ballet piece for her next week's performance at NY City Ballet. It's her first lead performance and she's been pretty nervous about it. It'll be her make or break performance.

Santana was so focused on her dancing that she didn't noticed a pair of eyes had been watching her for a while. She almost trip when she looked at the doors direction through the huge mirror in front of her and see a blonde smiling at her.

_"Hey."_ Elle softly said. Her back is rested on the door frame, just looking at Santana.

Santana shook her head smiling then went straight across the floor and get her towel. She's covered with sweat but it adds to her sex appeal (as her friends and co dancers says).

_"Missed me already?"_ Santana jokes while she watches Elle to enter the room.

Elle let a soft laugh_. "Now, don't be too cocky. I was visiting a friend when I saw you practicing here."_

Santana could see how the blonde is checking her out. With her leotards, every curve of her body is visible. She wants to make fun of Elle for drooling but she didn't. She finds it cute on how her cheeks flushed when she cleared her throat to get Elle's attention.

_"I..I gotta g-go. Umm..See you a-around?"_ she stutters while she tried to hide the redness on her face. Santana's grin got bigger realizing the effect she has on the blonde.

Elle quickly turn on her heel and walks towards the door when Santana catch up on her side.

_"Hey, Blondie. How about I take your offer back when we're in that hotel room? Umm.. that's if you're..single?"_

Elle was caught off guard with Santana asking her out on a date. I know she made her promised before but that was a year ago. She thought Santana could have forgotten about it or met someone new already.

_"W..well it's okay i-if you're umm n..not intereste-"_ Santana stutters, trying not to sound too pushy but Elle interrupted her.

_"I would love to go out on a date with you Santana."_ Santana felt like a big rock was lifted off her shoulders. _"Just call me about the details okay?"_ Elle smile sweetly at her while running her hand up Santana's arm as she left the studio.

_"Awesome."_ Santana whispered when Elle was out of her sight.

This is good right? Me moving on and trying to let other people in besides …her. I never went out on a date for a year because I don't want to rush myself. Britt made me realized that I have to love myself first. Six months of drowning into loneliness and self pity was not a good idea.

She let me scream it all out, throw anything on the wall that my hand catches then cry my eyes out until I was tired. It felt good after, knowing I have friends that truly cared and won't leave me even if I'm an 'emotional wreck' (Yeah, I heard him telling Berry) as Kurt calls me.

So asking Elle out is a big step in admitting that I moved on, right? **Am I?**

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**What do you think of the first chapter? Finally done with the complicated/angst from the Prequel. LOL**

**Don't hate me please? :) I want to build up Elle/Santana's 'relationship' first before putting Quinn into the picture. I can't wait to write the Quinttana scenes..Yey! :D**

**Thanks for reading..Review? ^_^**


	2. The Date

***Hello! Thanks for the reviews, faves and follows. It was really great to know what you think of the story. :)**

***I want this sequel to revolve around on how Quinn will show Santana that's she still deserves her after that rollercoaster prequel. LOL**

***So this will be the last chapter that will contain a lot of Santana/Elle. Third Chap is for Quinntana..Yey! Finally. Already half way done with chap 3 so I'll be posting it soon. **

***Here's the second chapter. Enjoy…^_^**

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**"Dating's all about giving you chances to bump**

**and brush and touch and,**

**occasionally, talk."**

**- Patricia McLinn**

Santana nervously waits for Elle to arrive. She's now sitting inside a fine dining restaurant wearing her best dress. She chooses Eleven Madison Park because she has no idea what Elle wants and she looks like the girl who's sophisticated. She looked again on her watch; she still has ten minutes to compose herself.

She mentally cursed herself in agreeing with Elle to just meet up here. The suspense is killing her and she's freaking out so this is not good. But all of her worries fade away when she saw Elle walking inside the room.

She looks gorgeous on her knee length dress_. "Hi. Beautiful."_ She smiled at Santana while the waiter pulls her chair for her.

_"You look stunning."_ Santana complemented her. She could see the blush on her cheeks.

_"Thank you. Wow, Madison huh?" _Elle looks around the restaurant smiling. _"Impressive."_

_"Well, I realized I don't have any idea what you like so I figured this would be a start." _

The waiter came to get their orders, Santana ordered for them, but looks for Elle's approval before giving back the menu to him.

_"You're not vegan are you?"_ Santana asked worriedly when she remembers she ordered chicken and meat.

_"No. I wouldn't live a week without bacon for breakfast."_ Elle laughs but what she said made Santana froze.

_"What's with the face? Are you a vegan?"_ Elle asked worriedly.

_"No, but I'm not a fan of bacon."_ She lied. She loved eating bacon with Quinn or better yet she love watching Quinn eating bacon.

Elle knew that it reminded her of someone. She felt bad and sad because obviously Santana was not completely over her.

_"So when is the big day?"_ Elle asked trying to change the subject which Santana appreciated at the moment.

_"This sat. I was hoping you would come?"_ Santana bit her lip, trying to read Elle's face.

_"Of course, I wouldn't miss seeing you land on your ass."_ She smirks while Santana rose her eyebrow smiling.

"_Is that your weird way of saying good luck, blondie?"_ Santana can play this game.

The waiter with their orders interrupted their conversation. While eating, Santana told her how she got the lead role, her hobbies and where she came from. She had no problem telling blondie about her life when she was in high school. She's so comfortable talking to her.

_"Seriously? Boob job?"_ Elle exclaimed when she told her she had a 'surgery'. She laughs at her when she insisted it was a 'surgery'. _"Nu uh, that's boob job."_

_"Ok fine, Boob job it is."_ She could feel her blush. _"You, what's your story, besides your boring academic life at Yale?"_ Santana said while drinking her wine.

Santana saw her expression changed. Her smile disappeared suddenly. She avoids Santana's gaze and concentrates on playing her food with her fork.

_"I've been living on my own since my parents died when I was in high school. I fell madly in love with my co captain, who is a cheerleader. And be thrown like a piece of garbage just because I don't want to put label in our relationship."_ So maybe Santana is not the only one with baggage after all. She could read anger on her face.

_"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked_." Santana reached for her hand which is on top of the table and apologized.

_"It's fine, I just can't believe how stupid I was before." _Elle tried to laugh but failed.

_"You know what, screw our exes! This is our time to enjoy each other."_ Santana said in her most convincing tone.

_"Really."_ Elle smirk made her realized the other meaning of her statement.

_"I d..din't mean it like that."_ She stutters and blushes which made Elle grin more.

_"You're adorable when you blush."_ Elle squeezed her hand that she immediately retracted.

_"Am not! I'm a badass and you know it."_ Santana pretends to be annoyed.

_"Yeah whatever."_ Elle just rolled her eyes on her while smiling. _"So where to, after this?"_

_"Why, do you have somewhere you need to be?"_ Santana felt sad, she's enjoying her company and for fucking sake, it's their first date. Am I boring her?

_"With you?"_ then she laughs softly at how Santana reacted on the thought of her ending the night early. _"I just want to know what the 'badass' prepared for tonight."_

_"Excited much? Finish your food first then you'll see."_ Santana replied smirking. She swears this woman will not go home tonight without wooing her.

After they finished dinner, they walk through central park. At first there was an awkward silence, then when Elle started talking everything became comfortable between them. From time to time their shoulders will touch then their arms and finally their hands.

Santana stopped walking. She led Elle to sit on a bench and then sit beside her. Santana texted someone then put her phone back on her purse.

When Santana gaze on her watch, she starts counting which made Elle's brow rise. _"One, Two, Three. Look up beautiful." _As if on cue, there are fireworks in the night sky.

Elle's jaw dropped and admiration visible in her eyes. Santana reached for them to hold hands. None of them looking at their hands but they are fully aware of what's happening. No one wants to say something about it, afraid that it would make the other pull back.

Then when the fireworks are done, there are now three violinists not too far from where they were sitting.

Elle bit her lip trying to withhold the tears. No one had ever done this before for her. She let her head rest on Santana's shoulder.

_"Thank you."_ Elle sincerely said. Santana let go of her hand but then put her arms around her shoulder.

Santana's heart melted when she saw how Elle loved her surprise. It was getting cold but they didn't care. They just let their body heat warm each other.

Santana raised her other hand on Elle's chin to guide her for a soft kiss, when they pulled back to catch both their breaths they stayed there still for a while listening to the music being played for them.

It was getting late so Santana suggested driving her home, good thing she didn't bring her own car. Santana opened the door for her which surprised her. When Santana stepped into the car, she cupped her face and pulled her into another kiss. This time it is passionate.

_"Remind me to always open the door for you."_ Santana said joking while catching her breath because of that kiss.

Elle shove her shoulders a little then smile. They reached her house in less than five minutes because her it's just near the park. Santana's jaw dropped when she found out that Elle lives in a penthouse in City Spire building. No freaking way!

_"Are you a drug dealer or something?"_ Santana said with eyes wide open as she scans the place. But Elle just laughs at her amusement.

_"It's my sister-in-law's pent house actually; she just bought it a month ago when she moved here in NY. She just let me crash here, cause mine was under renovation."_ She said as if it was nothing. _"Want a drink?"_

_"Yes."_ Elle shook her head smiling when she saw how Santana acts like a child looking around the place. _"Enough snooping around, come here I want my lady kisses."_ Elle said pouting while sitting on the couch.

Lady kisses, Santana smiles. She hasn't heard that for a while. Santana lunged forward at Elle, a pair of soft lips pressing against her neck which made her moan as she feels the warm breath of Santana on her skin.

_"You're not gonna turn into some spoiled brat, are you?" _Santana said in husked voice while gently biting her pressure point.

_"Nu uh."_ It's more like a whisper but yet seductive. _"I am a goooood girl."_ Elle let out a shaky breath that sounded almost like a moan.

Things are getting heated but she doesn't want to have sex with her here in the couch. It's their first time together so she wants her to be comfortable.

_"Where's your room?"_ She said a little breathlessly.

Elle quickly push Santana a little then lead the way to her bedroom. Santana bit her lip when she saw her seductively lying on top of the bed with her dress on the carpeted floor, waiting for her. She didn't waste any time, she closed the door then went straight on top of her and press her hips into her.

_"Satana, you're so damn hot."_ Elle let out, her nails biting into Santana's back through her dress.

Santana made her feel more than just being wooed. Elle felt needed and loved again. Enjoying every plunge and named moaned as they climax. She let Santana take control of her all night long until they both feel exhausted but contented. She feels happy, with her.

* * *

**"She looked like the kind of woman**

**I could fall in love with.**

**Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman **

**I'd like to make love to. "**

**- Jarod Kintz**

After that night Santana don't want to leave the bed with Elle. She just wants to stay there and cuddle all day but they have work. She dragged her feet into the showers and get dressed with Elle's clothes since she didn't bring her own and there's no way she's going to wear her dress last night.

Santana's call time is nine am and they only have two more days to perfect the choreography. Since Elle's class starts at eight, she was an hour early. She didn't have enough sleep so she closed her eyes on one of the chairs and put her headphones to nap a little.

_"Sanny. Santana Lopez!"_ The loud voice woke her up, and who ever that person is, he or she is dead!

_"What the fuck, Berry?!"_ Santana growled at her friend. She sit back straight and annoyingly looked at her wondering what her friend is doing in here.

_"I'm sorry, but you didn't come home last night so I assumed that everything went well. Thus the reason I woke you up for I only have an hour to get back at studio so please feel free to start your story anytime soon."_ Rachel looked at her excited.

_"Go away. I want to sleep."_ Santana closed her eyes again but she heard Berry singing. She quickly flicked her eyes open and narrows it to scare Berry but it didn't work_. "Urg, fine, you win! Stop singing you're giving me a fucking headache!" _

Berry did stop and waited for her to speak_. "It was perfect. The diner, fireworks and violins were perfect. Then she turned out to be a rich kid whose relative owns one of the expensive penthouses in NY." _

_"The one in City Spire building?"_ Rachel asked with her eyes wide. _"Then what happened? Don't tell me you ruined everything just because she's a rich kid tha-"_

_"Of course not, I don't care if she's the princess of whales or whatever, I think like her."_ Santana smiled to herself in admitting she like Elle.

Rachel saw how her face lit up, she hug her tight. _"I'm so happy for you Sanny."_

Santana's heart melts with what she said. She knows Rachel meant it, her eyes glittering when she pulled from the hug.

_"Well, my work here is done so I have to go now. Good luck on your practice Sanny, see you at dinner."_ Santana just nod and watch as her best friend leave the dance studio and see her other co dancers fill the room.

* * *

**"What was the point of being able to forgive,**

**when deep down,**

**you both had to admit you'd never forget?**

**- Jodi Picoult**

Her performance was epic, everybody loved it and for sure the press will have plenty of great things to say about Santana Lopez, the new ballerina.

Santana didn't tell her friends about what she saw (or what she think she saw) in the audience. In the middle of her number, she saw Quinn sitting on the top most part of the place. She knows it's impossible but she memorized that face her whole life.

At the end of the show, when she looked up again on where she first saw Quinn, she's not there anymore. So maybe, she's just imagining it right?

After the victory party prepared for the casts, she went out with Rachel, Kurt and Elle to celebrate. Her plan was to ask Elle to be her girl friend that night but because of what happened in there; she realized she's not yet ready for that kind of commitment with Elle.

Besides, she found out that Elle is not the kind of person who put labels especially to relationships. Apparently she was traumatized before when her father found out she has a girl friend.

They enjoy each other's company and they are happy, that's what matters, right?

* * *

**I deliberately did not write a detailed femlash between them. It doesn't feel right, you know? LOL …I'll reserve that one for Quintanna. ^_^**

**Does any one has a guess on how Quintanna will meet again? Hmmm… you'll find out on the next chapter. **

**Comments and suggestions are very much welcome. ^_^**


	3. The Chance Of Encounter

**So, here's the thing. I'm having difficulties in expressing the characters thoughts and emotions with the first two chapters' format, so I figured that I want to go back in the POV style but as much as possible limit it to San and Quinn's pov. :)**

**Your reviews are amazing, keep them coming okay? You guys inspires me write more..thanks a lot..^_^**

**I put here some of my fav quotes that is 'kinda' related to the scenes..:)**

**Anyways, here's the 3****rd**** one.. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Glee's not mine.**

* * *

**"The scariest thing about distance is that**

**you don't know whether they'll**

**miss you or forget you."**

**-Nicholas Sparks**

**SANTANA's POV**

_"Are you ready babe you have to leave in five minutes or else you will miss the flight."_ Elle said sweetly. After dating for almost five months, I finally had the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend.

I was checking myself on the bathroom mirror; I had worn a purple top under my black leather jacket and then dark blue skinny jeans with a little make up, lip gloss and some mascara.

I can see sadness in her eyes the moment I walked out of the bathroom door. I quickly went to her, cupped her face and search for her eyes for them to look straight back to me.

_"Hey."_ I softly said. I could see the glittering in her eyes. _"I'll be back before you know it, okay? I'll be just for a few days."_ Then I kissed her to drain her worries away.

I heard her let out a heavy sigh after the kiss. For a moment, I thought she was gonna cry but then she held back her tears and gaze back at me. She always do that, show me that she's strong but deep inside I know she's so scared right now. Even though I never gave her a reason to doubt me.

_"Just come back to me, okay?"_ Her voice cracked and my heart broke on what she had said. I hugged her tight and kiss her temple.

_"Gladly."_ I whispered to her ear. I feel her nod and tighten her embrace to me._ "I have to go, babe, my hotness won't keep the plane waiting forever."_ I said joking to ease the sadness between us.

When we go to her car, I put my two bags in it and sat in the passenger seat as Elle drive me to the airport. When she pulled over before I reach for the handle and get out, I let myself stare at her face for a moment. I hug her once more and then kiss her passionately. We said our goodbyes then I left for my flight.

I know she's crying because I heard her finally sob before I closed the door. I didn't look back because seeing her cry breaks my heart._ Elle has no reason to be scared at all, **she's** not even gonna be there. And besides It'll be just for few days._ I told myself.

* * *

**"I always wonder why**

**Birds stay in the same place,**

**When they can fly anywhere in the earth,**

**Then I ask myself the same question."**

**- Anonymous**

**QUINN's POV**

I bring out my iPad as I look at the pictures of my baby. Oh God how I missed him and it's just a few hours. Nathan is one year and a month old now. He looks just like me. He's with Charlie while I go back to Lima, Ohio for our reunion. I swore before that I'll never go back there but here I am, sitting on the plain with my first class accommodation going to Lima.

One of the perks of marrying someone rich is having the first class of everything. When Charlie and I divorced six months ago, he willingly gave me and our child one-fourth of his money. He's such a kind soul, too bad I can't love him like I loved, loves, her.

I let out a heavy sigh. I know, inevitably, that we will meet again. It's like there's a force always keeping me wanting to see her. I know she will be there, she has to be.

The last time I saw her was her very first lead on NY City Ballet. She's awesome but I got scared when she looked at me straight in the eyes.

_"Ma'am, we're ready to take off soon, please buckle your seat belt."_ The flight attendant sweetly tells me. I just nod and smiled back at her.

I looked out in the window and stare at the clouds. Santana hates flying; she would endure hours on Lima Express just to avoid planes. My heart ached in remembering her again. Tell me, how can I forget her if every simple thing like a spoon or paper, etc. reminds me of her?

_"Santana."_ I whispered as I close my eyes and picture her once again.

* * *

**"****What hurts most is knowing**

**that even after everything you did to me,**

**After all the times you hurt me,**

**I would still take you back in**

**A heartbeat."**

**- Lacy Turner**

**SANTANA's POV**

I looked around to see who called my name. My brow arched when I saw no one is even looking at me. I swear I heard someone called my name, or am I just imagining it? I waited for a few seconds then finally stop looking around.

I really, really hate planes! Urg, I hate it every time I feel my stomach drops when it takes off or land. Plus the annoying seat mates that talks to you about their life story or shits, just like Berry.

Damn Berry for convincing me to come at the last minute. I had no choice but to get the last available ticket going to Ohio today. I prefer the first class but unfortunately there's none available within two days.

Rachel said that Quinn did not confirm that she will go, so I decided to take a chance. Also I haven't seen my family and friends like forever. I let out a sigh in remembering Quinn. I have to stop thinking about her, I have a hot girl friend back at NY who loves me so much and besides just thinking about Q makes me feel like I'm cheating or something.

After almost two hours the pilot announced that we'll be approaching Lima. My heart starts to beat fast, not because of my fear of landing but fear of a chance that she might be there.

I shook my head while I'm waiting for my luggage, remembering my last thought while the plane was about to land. That is impossible, Rachel said that she's in London with Charlie when she called her last night. So there's no way that she'll be here in Lima, she can't be. I'm not ready to see her again, not now that I'm starting to be contented with Elle.

_"Sanny!"_ The moment I stepped out the airport doors, I heard someone screamed my name. There is a huge smile on my face as I looked around and see a lot of people waiting for their love ones. Then there's my best friend Britt, carrying her banner of 'welcome home Sanny', and waiving it like crazy. I walk fast to her direction and hugged her tight.

_"Oh, Britt, I've missed you lots."_ I said to her. I heard her giggled._ "Thanks for picking me up."_ I smiled at her once I pulled from the hug.

_"No probs. Let's go, everyone is sooooo excited to see you."_ She said excitedly as she grabbed my hand and lead to her car.

Britt is turning her car when in my peripherals I noticed someone. I froze on the passenger seat with eyes wide.

_"Fuck!_" I gasp.

It took my mind three seconds to realized who that person is before I decided to quickly turn my head and look for her. But it was too late, Britt drives fast and the blonde is not there anymore.

This time I know my eyes are not deceiving me. It's really her this time, I can feel it. Her eyes were closed and head bowed down but I know that's her. Quinn is here in Lima! I'm gonna fucking kill Berry!

* * *

**"The meeting of two eternities,**

**The past and future, is precisely the**

**Present moment."**

**- Henry David Thoreau**

**QUINN's POV**

**_Puck, where's my ride? Be here in a minute or I'm gonna kick your sorry ass. –Q_**

I knew it! I should have not agree to Puck volunteering to pick me up at the airport. That guy has no sense of punctuality in his bones. Sometimes I wonder how he managed to keep his pool business running.

**_Chill Baby Moma, b der in 2 min –P_**

I shook my head. I leaned against the wall in the far side so I won't block the way of the passengers going out. I was about to call Rachel and tell her that I change my mind and decided to come instead when I heard a familiar voice.

_"Sanny!"_ My head snapped and face turned pale when I saw the back of the Latina walking towards Brittany. They are both busy talking so Britt didn't noticed me besides they are many feet away from me.

I can't hear what they're talking about but what I can perfectly hear is my own heart beat. It's very loud and I think I'm gonna be deaf. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw them getting inside Britt's car but then I swallowed hard when I realized that it will pass me before she can make a turn.

_"Oh, No!"_ I gasp and panicked. I just closed my eyes and prayed she won't see me when they pass.

When I opened them and saw Britt's car turning away, I quickly walk in to Puck's car who just pulled over.

_"I'm so sorry. I swear I intended to be ear-"_ I ignored him. He stopped talking and looks at me confused. _"Hey, you alright there Q?"_ I heard his concerned voice.

_"Yeah, just get me home."_ I step inside the passenger seat of Puck's car and waited for him to finish putting my bag in the car.

_"What happened?_" He quickly said once he was inside the car. _"You're not upset coz I'm late, are yah?"_

I just shook my head. I can't breathe and I don't want to talk because my voice might crack then I won't stop crying. And believe me Puck is the last person I want to be near me if ever.

I let out a deep sigh. Even if I didn't see her face, still it was Santana. Her presence still affects me the same way as years ago, breathless.

* * *

**Ooppss..don't be mad okay? I agree that they have to start from square one. And Lima is the best place to be. :)**

**I was so exited to write chap4 last night that I made two different scenes that will eventually lead differently..LOL Now I can't decide which one to post..Gggrrr.. **

**Help? Tell me what you think and if it fits one of the chapter I did, then that's what I'm going to post then I'll take it from there.. ^_^**


	4. Pinky Promise?

**Ready for chapter four? :) This chap is a bit angst but much better than the other chap4 that I did (which is heavy drama..LOL) So I decided to just go with the angst.**

**BTW, Thanks to JLove27 for that PM, I needed that. It inspires me to write more. Cheers to you too! :D**

**With that being said, I started writing two more different fanfics, one is Brittana and then Quinntana. Yay! I think I'll post them once I'm done with this story or with 'Twin Hearts'. **

**Thanks so so so much for the reviews, faves and follows.. :)**

**So enough of this, it's time for some Quintanna..^_^ Enjoy..!**

* * *

**"The moment when you see your ex again**

**after so much time**

**and it brings so many memories."**

**- Anonymous**

**SANTANA's POV**

_"Midget!"_ after five rings, finally Rachel answered her phone. Before she could say hello, I already spoke.

I'm at Britt's room right now pacing angrily. WTF came into Berry's mind lying to me about Quinn. Good thing that Britt can't see all of this. She's always scared of Snix. She went out saying about feeding her ducks or something. I'm not in the mood to go with her so I just stayed in.

_"What did I do this time, to have the honor of speaking to Snix?"_ I rolled my eyes. Seriously? Playing innocent won't do well for her right now. I'm so damn furious and I want to strangle her with my own hands.

Good thing she's not in her house and her dad's don't know where she went because Snix would love to see her right now. And I won't be held accountable for my actions.

_"Fuck you! I saw blondie! M'gona fucking ends you right now!"_ I placed the phone if front of my mouth while I speak to give more volume while I shout at her.

_"San, stop with the cursing! And what do you mean blondie? Elle is here? I don't understand why you're so mad at me fo- ….Oh! Do..did y-you mean Quinn?!"_ I could hear that she's shock with the news because I heard her grasp.

I stopped pacing to think clearly. Then it hit me, she didn't know either about Quinn being here. I know the sound of Rachel's voice when she's lying or acting. Damn that early morning rehearsals in the kitchen, bathroom, living room, bedroom (hers) and every room that you could possibly think of.

_"So, you don't know?"_ I asked calmly, just to confirm.

_"Of course not, you know I won't do that to you San. We're more of friends than her, so don't ever think that I would betray you, let alone hurt you like that."_ Her voice is low and sad.

And I believed her._ "Whatever. I won't go to that fucking reunion with her there."_ I said in a serious tone. And pray she won't ask me to reconsider my decision.

It's true; I'm not yet ready to see her again. I finally have an okay life without her in it. Elle and I are still in the phase where we can't afford any of our 'baggage' showing up and shake us. We won't survive that, yet. I know, because I won't.

I heard her sigh._ "I understand San. So what's your plan? Are you going back to NY?"_

Yes, Santana, what's the plan? I ask myself. I can't go back to NY, Elle will ask what happened. I can't tell her that I need to escape Lima because my ex-girlfriend showed up and I freaked out on the chance that I might see her again. Nope, not gonna happen.

"San?" I heard her call my name again. This time it seems like she knows how I'm feeling right now. Like she could sense that I'm having my own dialog and very confused._ "I'm here at Mercedes' house, do you want to talk about it?"_

_"No. Never mind."_ I didn't wait for her to answer. I pressed end and throw my phone on the bed.

* * *

**"Getting through the nights**

**is the toughest part.**

**Being alone...**

**Not having her there to talk to."**

**-Stuart Appleby**

**QUINN's POV**

I told Puck to drop me off at the park because I need to meet someone there. He knows I'm not in the mood to argue so he just did what I said and went home. The park is just a few blocks anyway from my house so I have no problem in walking home after.

I was looking at my watch to see the time when suddenly someone hugged me from the behind. By the smell of that fruity perfume I know it was Brittany.

I smiled at her when I turned to face her. _"I'm so glad you came."_ She smiled back to me sweetly.

Brittany was the only one who knew I was coming today since last night. After Rachel's call of confirming that I wouldn't come (I know she did it for Santana), Britt called after begging me to attend the reunion. Well, nobody says no to Britt. Even if how much we have changed because where older now, Britt's joyful personality remained intact.

_"Me to, but I don't think everyone feels the same."_ I said it like a whisper. My chest is starting to feel heavy again on the thought of Santana not wanting to see me.

Britt put her hand on my shoulder, comforting me. _"She'll forgive you soon, Q. Then everything will be back to normal."_ I wish I could say the same. I wish I could be like Britt, hoping the best on people.

_"H-how's she?"_ I manage to ask even though I just want to cry right now.

_"She looks awesome. But she's kinda mad at Rachie when I left her in my room. Oh my! Sanny, I have to get back to her now, Q. I told her I'll just feed my ducks. I just want to personally welcome you back home."_ She smiled at me then enveloped me into another hug. _"See yah!"_

Then she jogs away from me, waiving again before she crossed the street and I waived back. Again, I feel alone. Santana is just three blocks away from me. So close but yet so far away.

* * *

**"Some promise ****aren't worth**

**keeping."**

**- Holly Black**

**SANTANA's POV**

I'm lying on Britt's bed staring at her ceiling painted pink with rainbow drawings in it. After I talked to Rachel, I realized that Britt lied to me. I know my friends too much; I'm a very intuitive person especially to those I love.

I got up and snoop around for her phone. I saw it under her pillow then I enter the password, which is duck obviously, and then search for her recent messages and call logs. Bingo! She called someone last night and they talked for more than an hour.

My curiosity consumed me, so I press call then wait for that person to answer. After a few rings, I heard the voice that takes my breath away.

_"Hey, Britt. I'm on my way home, something wrong?"_ Just like the way I remember it.

I grip Britt's phone tight, I didn't care if it'll turn into ashes (like superheros do) all I know is I have to hold tight or I'll drop it on the floor.

_"S..san..tana, is t..that y..you?"_ she stutters. Quinn always figures everything out, well not everything. She didn't figure out what to do with our relationship before.

I heard her sigh then was immediately followed by soft sobs. _"San..Talk to me please?"_

I swallow hard, feeling light headed and there's a ton of emotions inside me that is waiting to erupt. Damn it! I can't even talk to her on the phone without feeling weak and vulnerable.

_"I..I have nothing to say."_ Which is true, right? I've already told her what I wanted to say more than a year ago. There's nothing left for me to say to her.

_"Well I do. And I have a lot."_ I could hear that she's starting to compose herself.

_"Dammit Quinn, I don't wanna hear it. I don't care if you're happy with your freaking husband and baby lizard!"_ I snapped at her._ "We can't just pretend that nothing happened before. It's not how it is."_ I said it in a firm voice but bit my inner cheek after to keep myself from crying.

My eyes are starting to well up with tears and any moment from now; it will flow if this conversation will continue.

_"Please, just hear me out. Just one chance then I'll never bother you again."_ She's pleaded. _"Please, I beg of you."_

_"Fine. But I'll decide how long. If I got bored ten that's it, you'll stay away from me."_ I want Quinn to leave me alone, but why does it hurt to ask her that? Shouldn't I be happy?

_"Fine, bleachers eight pm later at the reunion."_ Then I hang up.

I don't know what to feel. I don't know how to be mad at Britt, I never get mad at her in my whole life. And I don't want her to be upset as well.

I let myself fall backwards on the bed, I feel drained after talking to Quinn. I want to curse myself for agreeing to talk later. Then I realized that I don't even know what to say. Great! Now I'm panicking. That's when the door opened and a smiling Britt went in.

"Are you sleeping Sanny? You have to get ready for later." She said while bouncing up and down while sitting beside me on her bed.

I let out a sigh then open my eyes and look at her sadly. Her brows furrow in confusion._ "Britt, I talked to Q. Why didn't you tell me she's coming?"_ I said in a most calm voice as possible.

I saw she got more confused. I sit up straight so I could face her. I tilt my head a bit to study her expression. Why is she so confused?

_"Quinn's invited in your reunion, Sanny. She graduated 2012 remember? So why wouldn't she come?"_ she asked innocently. I let out a sigh. Britt's has a point. _"Are you still upset with Quinn?"_

_"I think so Britt._" I answer tiredly.

_"You shouldn't be Sanny, you have Elle now remember?"_ Sometimes I envy Britt's thinking towards people and life. Everything seems so easy for her.

And again, she has a point. I have Elle now, so why should I still be mad at Quinn? I ended everything between us more than a year ago and I should have moved on and forgave her. I'm the one who gave up on us and told her to marry that grey poupon. So why am I freaking out about this, still?

_"So?"_ I looked at Britt confused. My brow rise when she starts to giggle.

Did she asked me a question while I spaced out?_ "What?"_ I asked her.

_"I asked if you still like Quinn and dreams of having lady kisses with her, because she looks so hot now even having two kids."_ Britt repeated what she said a while ago while being busy looking for something to wear.

_"I..I can't have lady kisses with her Britt. I have a girl friend."_ I was a bit taken a back with that. _"Besides she's married now."_ I added sadly. This is just Britt, she's harmless.

Britt looked again to me confused. _"No she's not."_ She said and then quickly put her hands on her mouth as if she said a very bad thing. Her face turned pale when she saw that I heard what she just said.

Now it's my time to be confused. "_What do you mean Britt?"_ I said on a firm voice. I just apologized to her later for this but I need to make her scared of me or else she won't tell me anything.

I jumped off the bed and walk closer to where she is. I swear Britt looks like a very scared puppy which confirms that she's hiding something. I think she's even about to cry. 'Oh, Britt. Please don't cry. Just tell me.' I thought to myself.

_"Please Sanny, I don't want to lose my pinky. I made a promise to Q. Please, please. I want my pinky on my hand. My mom said it'll fall out once I broke a pinky promise. Please, Sanny.. don't ask me."_ Britt quickly explained then started to sob loud.

My heart melted when she started to cry. I close the gap between us and then hug her._ "Shh.. Okay, don't worry I won't ask anymore. You're pinky's safe."_ It's silly I know, but its Britt. She will believe anything you would tell her, ANYTHING! So the fear she's feeling right now is real so I don't even find it funny for someone as old as her believed that nonsense.

She pulled herself from me then looked at my eyes. I smile at her and wipe her tears.

_"Now let's go to my house, my mom will kick my ass if she'll found out from someone else that I am here in Lima."_ She just nod and started to be her jolly self again.

I pretend to listen to her and nod from time to time to what she's saying. I can't concentrate to her because my mind is still absorbing the news that Britt accidentally said. Quinn is not married.

But why? Since when? It can't be true because Kurt and Rachel said that she did get married. I even saw their fucking wedding picture at a magazine cover. I have a lot of questions in my mind right now. If a while ago I don't know what to say to her and now I don't know if I have the guts to ask her.

Quinn was never married. Is this normal? Should I be this relieved? Fuck! I can't think straight. And it doesn't help that I'll be seeing her in less than two hours. That's the only time I have to think. You can do this, you can d this, you can do this. I chant to myself hoping my mind and heart will start to believe it to. We'll see later if it worked. We'll see.

* * *

**Do you still remember from the prequel that Britt stayed after the wedding? ^_^**

** So what do you think? ****Should I still continue with chapter five with ****Quintanna'**s heart to heart talk? ^_^


	5. Kiss Me, Wanna Be Loved Part1

**I had nothing to do today so I decided to update this. **

**To ****jlove27 sorry, I got really excited to post this because I was able to put the song you requested yesterday. ****:) ****Don't hate me okay? Hope you haven't edited this chapter yet. Well instead, you can do the 6th and 7th I sent you, that's if you still want to? (But I really hope you do) .**

**Disclaimer: Don't own glee. ^_^**

**BTW: I'm not sure about some info included in this chap and the next.**

* * *

**"Find someone who is PROUD to have you,**

**SCARED to lose you, FIGHTS for you,**

**APPRECIATES you, RESPECTS you**

**CARE and LOVES you"**

**- Ritu Ghatourey**

**QUINN's POV **

_"Welcome McKinley class of 2012!_" I heard someone from the microphone shouted.

With a heavy sigh, I looked around McKinley's gymnasium; I was surrounded by the faces of people I'd never seen around the campus before or never cared to know, with music pounding in the background. I turned to look at the swarm of people hoping to spot the Latina in there so I don't have to endure any minute more of my heart pounding like a drum.

Before I could walk further away from the dance floor, I felt someone press against my back. I'm about to turn around give that idiot a piece of my mind when I heard a woman's voice in my ear. _"Still looking gorgeous as always Fabray."_

I don't recognize the voice but when I turn around, my confusion got worst. I cocked my eyebrow at her when she smile seductively and extend her hand for me to shake. I didn't take it.

_"Am I supposed to know your surname as well?"_ I shouted at her annoyed. I'm not in the mood to flirt with anyone right now.

_"Hot and feisty, some things never change."_ She said loud with a smirk.

Now she's getting on my nerve. I rolled my eyes on her and narrow it. _"Look, I don't know you and I really don't care who you are which means that you're nobody before and it's gonna stay that way today, okay?"_

She just shook her head laughing. Urg! What's her problem? I could see that she's drunk and I'm not going to slap a drunken annoying bitch. But that could be arranged if she won't stop this shit.

She's about to say something again when something catches her attention behind me. Her smirk was replaced immediately with fear. Wait, fear? My heart's beating tripled when I heard that familiar voice.

I spun around and see a very angry Santana, her firing glare is directed to the woman who is annoying me._ "Haven't you learned your lesson, Dick face? What did I tell you about talking, looking or even thinking of Q? Huh?"_ Santana walk pass me to get closer to her prey then put a threatening finger into her chest. "Let me remind you then in case you forgot. Well I'm just gonna fucking pluck all of your disgusting hair one by one until you beg me to just ends your pathetic life!"

Santana really looks hot when she's on her HBIC attitude. I smile at her bitchiness and kind of feel sorry for that woman.

_"Now get lost or I'm gonna go all Lima heights on your fucking ass-hole!"_ The woman threw Santana a death glare which only earned a laugh from her. She seems really mad and before she leaves, I heard her murmured 'bitch' under her breath.

Santana's expression became hard when she finally faced me. She rolled her eyes at me and shook her head. I'm about to thank her or say something (I can't remember which one after seeing her close) when she walks away from me.

_"Santana!"_ I called but she didn't stop or even turn her head. She's walking towards the exit so I walk fast to catch up to her. Then she went right from the end of the hallways. Right. The bleachers, I guess it's time for our little chat.

* * *

**You can close your eyes to the things**

**You don't want to see,**

**But you can't close your heart to the thing**

**You don't want to feel.**

**-**** Anonymous**

**SANTANA's POV**

What the fuck am I thinking? I scold myself. I lose it when I saw dick face harassing Quinn back there. That bitch didn't learn her lesson before when I warned her.

It was our senior year when I heard her talking to another cheerio in the girl's bathroom, about her liking Quinn. I didn't think twice and launch myself and push her. Then threatened her, at that time she looks very frightened. Jealousy was the main reason, I know I was with Britt at that time, but I can't stand anyone thinking about that especially with Quinn.

_"Santana!"_ I hear her call my name but I stop myself from turning around. I went straight to the field and wait for her to follow me into the bleachers.

It's been years since I've been here at McKinley's field. The last time I was here on these bleachers was to make out with Britt. I heard Quinn's steps getting louder and louder. Any second now, that door will reveal her. So I breathe in and out to prepare myself.

There she is, looking drop dead gorgeous on her black sexy dress. Her shoulder length blonde hair is now curling that freely sways on every blow of air. I let out a sigh. Nice Lopez. Couldn't you be more obvious? Staring at her like that?

"Thanks." She said once she reached where I am. She sits beside me.

I just shrug at her. _"You look like you needed help."_ I said not looking at her and my voice without any hint of emotion. I focused my stare at the field in front of us.

_"I do. I've always needed you to save me."_ I heard her fake a laugh. _"..Especially from myself."_

I think this is a bad idea. I can't let her do this to me gain. She fucking hurt me before. Even though she's single now, it doesn't mean we'll just forget everything that happened. I do hold grudges sometimes, when I was hurt too much.

_"I'm not gonna walk that memory lane with you Fabray, oh! If that's even your last name."_ Good Lopez, that's a start to make her tell you about it,_ "Just tell me what you have to say 'cause I need my drinks on."_ I tried my best to sound irritated.

I heard her sigh._ "Okay."_ She sounds like she's defeated. I finally looked at her and then regret it, because seeing her face closely looking so awfully tired. Her eyes are very sad and shows evidence of not enough sleep.

_"There may not be enough sorry in the world to make up for what I did to you but I'm really..really hoping that you will at least try to forgive me."_ She let out a huge breath of air. _"You have no idea how I despise myself everyday for hurting you like that."_

I didn't let my wall down. I don't want her to know that I can feel her pain. I just couldn't forget and forgive that easily. I'm not like Berry and Brittany. I just kept quiet, trying my best to properly breathe even though it hurts to do so.

_"The same day of the wedding, Charlie left me."_ Okay, I didn't expect that. So I was a bit surprised and then I look at her confused. _"He knew about us before the wedding but still continued with it for the same reason that I have, for our child."_

_"Listening."_ I said as if I don't give a damn. But deep inside me, I was a bit glad that they never really live with each other. Believe me, I have no idea why I feel that way, I just feel.

She sighs._ "Charlie's father said on his will that if ever he will have a child it should be under a marriage or it won't be allowed to get anything from the Anderson's, to protect their name. After Nathan is born, we got a divorce right away."_

_"So he left you."_ I asked to confirm. She nodded ._"And here I was thinking you were the one who did it. We're done talking here."_ I said while I stand up and gather my purse.

_"Wait, San._" She holds my arm to stop me from walking away but I forcefully remove it.

_"Don't San me, just don't! I'm done waiting for you Q! I did wait four fucking years and then what? You get married and have a child, again, then rub it in my face that if he didn't let you go you wouldn't be here! So excuse me if I'm not thrilled with your life story!"_ I snapped at her.

I feel like all of the anger and hurt I had for years are starting to resurface. My breaths are getting deeper and my chest is becoming heavy.

_"I know I was weak and I'm sorry, okay? I'm an idiot and I should've handled everything differently. But I can't do something about the past San, all I can control is now._" She's not shouting, she's not even mad but her tone is firm and determined, for me to understand her point.

I shook my head and gave her a death glare. _"Fuck you! Do you want me to thank you for 'finally' having the balls? Huh, I don't even know what you want from me now."_ I said with stressing the word finally. "It's not like I want you in my life again."

I grit my teeth because of anger and fold my hands until my knuckles turns white. She bit her lip. I know I hit a nerve. She never had the backbone before to fight for us and she knows that.

_"D..do y-you mean that?"_ she looks at me with her pleading eyes, glittering from the tears that are threatening to fall.

My face softens a little and my hands relaxed, letting blood to flow in it. Did I really mean what I said? Or it's just because we're fighting?

_"Y-yes."_ I think I lied because once I've said it, my heart dropped on the floor. Then her tears fell down on her cheeks. I looked away. Even if I'm so mad at her, seeing her like that makes my heart break. I hate seeing her crying.

* * *

**"You loved me**

**as hard as you knew how.**

**I'd give anything to go back and love you better."**

**- Joe Hill**

**QUINN's POV**

Every second that I'm waiting for her to answer kills me inside._ "Y-yes."_ When she that word I thought I died. She hates me so much that she doesn't want me to be a part of her life.

I can't hold back the tears anymore, I let it flow freely. My vision became blurry still I tried so hard to look at her face but she looked away.

_"I think we're done talking."_ She said in a low voice then turn around to walk away from me.

_"I..won't..give..up..this..time."_ I manage to say between my sobs. I know she heard me but she didn't stop walking._ "I promise."_

I stayed on the bleachers crying for five minutes. I want it to stop but my eyes does otherwise. I'm a mess and there's no way I'm going back inside that reunion and let my friends see me like this.

_"I'd say it didn't go well?"_ Puck said offering me his handkerchief. I know it is clean because he never uses one. Its reserve for weeping girls he will try to hit on. So I took it and wipe my tears._ "You'll have a hard time with her."_ He said while taking a sip on his bottle of jack.

I grab it from him and drink it. _"Whoa, that's not…..water."_ He finished saying as I took few gulps from it. I winced as the strong and bitter taste of the liquor runs through my throat. But I didn't care.

I let out a deep sigh and handed it over to him. _"She doesn't want me back."_ The bitterness I felt with that is far greater than the taste of the alcohol in my mouth.

_"Of course, you ditch her…twice."_ He said like as a matter-of-fact clarity emphasizing the word twice. _"You know she's not easy when she's mad."_

_"I don't know what to do._" I said very tired of this situation. _"I love her but she won't forgive me."_

I heard him sigh. _"This is why I only do chicks then bolt. I don't do feelings." _I shook my head at him. _"But 'cause you're my baby moma, you'll be my exemption."_ He smiled at me goofily.

It's not like I prefer to talk to him but right now I don't have any choice. I can't talk to Britt because I am sure she'll have San's side and Rachel is a no-no. She pester me with her texts and calls a while ago about not telling her that I changed my mind in coming here.

_"So what do you suggest I do?"_ I asked sarcastically.

He smirks._ "There's something San wants the most besides fucking pussies. And if you do that, she'll definitely kiss your ass and reconsider you as her friend."_ I rolled my eyes on his vulgarity but urge him to go on.

After he said it, I was shock. How did I not think of that one? Sadly, I know he is right. After I do this one, I'm sure San will forgive me. It could be a start to have her trust or if I get lucky, her friendship again. That'll be good enough for me, for now.. I just want to her again in my life.

* * *

**End of part 1**

** I'll post port 2 a bit later. What do you think? :)**

**Thanks for reading...^_^**


	6. Kiss Me, Wanna Be Loved Part2

**"Do you ever wonder**

**why things have to turn out**

**the way they do?"**

**- Nicholas Sparks**

**SANTANA's POV**

_"Fuck!"_ I said with gritted teeth. I am now walking back into the crowded gym to get a drink. I need to get drunk and forget for a moment. My heart is heavy and I despised this feeling. I know alcohol could help me with that.

Whoever planned this reunion was a genius. He, she or it definitely knows that our batch is alcohol freaks and would be board if there's no alcohol involve here. This is more like a party than a reunion actually. Well, who am I to argue with such great concept.

I found the 'mini bar' in the corner and sit on one of the stool there. _"Apple martini."_ I said to the bartender and then he nod.

When he gave me my drink, I took a sip and look around which I wish I didn't do because now Rachel spotted me. Just my fucking night! I turn around hopefully she will go away which I know she won't.

_"Santana, I've been looking all night for you. You quickly step out of the car without waiting for us, and then disappeared for almost an hour!"_ She said irritated while sitting beside me.

Kurt ordered wine for both of them.

_"Now you found me, so shut up." _I snapped at her. The back ground noise was not that loud because now the dj is playing a slow song. So I'm sure she heard all of it. Seeing the hurt on her face made me feel guilty so I restrained myself for shouting at her.

I sigh_. "I'm just worried. I called Britt and she told me your plan talking to her." _I looked away and continue to drink.

_"Satan, you can talk to us you know. We're like your family in NY right?"_ Kurt smiled at me encouragingly.

I finished the remaining drink on my glass with one gulp then turn around and walk away. Yes, I love them like a family but I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to be alone and be able to think.

I could feel the cold breeze hitting my skin which makes me shiver for almost fifteen minutes now. Dammit! Why didn't I bring a jacket or something, I scold myself. I am wearing a spaghetti strap dark blue fitted dress. Maybe walking was not a good idea, but I can't go back in there and asked Britt's keys. I am sure all of them will bombard me with questions; I'd rather die of hypothermia than that.

I let out a deep sigh then rub both of my hands to keep me warm. I hate Lima, there's no freaking taxi in here! I was about to send a text to Britt to pick me up when I heard a car honks. I almost drop my phone because of it.

_"Fucking moron!"_ I exclaimed angrily and turn instantly, ready to kick whoever is inside the car that stopped beside me. My eyes went wide when I recognized the car. Who could possible own a blue Aston martin one-77 here in Lima? Wanna guess?

I waited for the windows to roll down and leaned on it. _"Are you trying to kill me Fabray?"_ I angrily said to her. But she just gave me a little smile.

_"Sorry, don't mean to startle you. I'm an innocent passerby and I could see that you're cold; I could give you a lift, if you want?" _She said shyly. I hesitated for a moment.

I stand up straight then look around. Wishing I could see anyone else who could give me a lift tonight. When I see no sign of anything, there's a drop of water that fell on my arm. I sigh deeply then looked up.

_"Oh come on! You've got to be fucking kidding me right now! Urg!"_ I stomped my hills on the ground irritated because I don't want to kick an expensive car. I'm so pissed right now and hitting something helps me to bit cool down. Of all people here in Lima, why is it got to be her?

After a minute of contemplating if it is indeed going to rain, I decided to get in the car. Then as if on cue, the heavy rain pours. I rolled my eyes and let out a deep sigh. I was thankful she didn't start a conversation because I don't want to argue with her right now.

The song kiss me by Ed Sheeran is playing on her speaker. I've never been inside an expensive car but I'm not in the mood to be nosy and risk having our eyes meets.

I heard my phone rang. I quickly look in my purse then answer Britt's call.

* * *

**"I get what it is like to want something,**

**but to try and force yourself to**

**really believe that you don't."**

**- Cora Carmack**

**QUINN's POV **

I'm glad I saw her walking on the streets before it rained. After Puck and I talked about what I need to do to 'befriend' Santana, I decided to go home and rest. It'll be a long day tomorrow when I start my plan.

Ten minutes. That's the only time left that I have with her here before we arrive at her house. That's the only time I could spend with her tonight. I don't care. I'll be contented with it, for now.

**Settle down with me  
Cover me up  
Cuddle me in  
Lie down with me  
Hold me in your arms **

Urg! I want to hear her voice. I tighten my grip on the wheels and focus on the road. Thank goodness her phone rang. I hope she answers it so I could hear her lovely voice again. I'll be contented with that, for now.

**Your heart's against my chest  
Lips pressed to my neck  
I've fallen for your eyes  
But they don't know me yet **

I sigh. I quickly glance at her.

**And the feeling I forget  
I'm in love now **

_"Hey Britt. I'm okay. I'm sorry I was about to text you."_ She said apologetically.

_"I know, I'm sorry but I'm on my way home."_ She waited a moment before she answer.

_"Yup, someone gave me a lift."_ She stopped. I'm guessing that Britt asked who. _"Just a batch mate. I have to go now; I'll call you when I get home okay?"_

**Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved **

**This feels like I've fallen in love  
Fallen in love  
Fallen in love **

When I stopped on the Lopez's driveway, I reached at the back of the car and get my jacket.

**Settle down with me  
And I'll be your safety  
You'll be my lady **

**I was made to keep your body warm  
But I'm cold as, the wind blows  
So hold me in your arms**

_"Here, you can use this."_ She arch her eyebrow for a moment and look at it. _"You don't have to give it back if you don't want to see me again."_ I assured her, answering her hesitation.

_"Okay."_ When she took it, our hands gently touch. My hand jerks a little because of the electricity that bolted inside my body. I know she felt it too because she did the same.

**My heart's against your chest  
Your lips pressed to my neck  
I've fallen for your eyes  
But they don't know me yet **

**And the feeling I forget  
I'm in love now **

As a habit, my hand reached for the strand of hair and slowly put it at the back of her ear. I l let my hand linger there. Both of us are looking straight into one's eyes, analyzing the emotions written in it.

**Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved**

This feels like I've fallen in love  
Fallen in love  
Fallen in love 

We were both surprised with what's happening between us but no one dared to move. I don't want to and I know she feels the same.

**Yeah I've been feeling everything  
From hate to love  
From love to lust  
From lust to truth  
I guess that's how I know you **

She slightly tilts her head and closes her eyes to feel my hand touching her cheek. The warm breath on my wrist makes my heartbeat go crazy. As I gently touch her cheek with my thumb I could sense her breathing became uneasy.

**So hold you close  
To help you give it up**

So kiss me like you wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved 

I stare into her moist lips then leaned a bit forward. Our faces just inches apart, savoring the aroma of her warm breath. I start to feel tingling sensations on my lips because of the air she's breathing against it.

**This feels like I've fallen in love  
Fallen in love  
Fallen in love **

_"San."_ I whispered pleadingly which I don't have any idea what's the reason I did that.

She opened her eyes quickly as if she finally wakes up from a bad dream. She moves her head away from my hand and put my jacket over her head. She stepped out of the car and run into their porch without even looking back.

**So kiss me like you wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved  
Wanna be loved **

I waited for her to reach their door hoping she would look back. But she didn't.

I breathe in and out to calm myself. I can't believe I almost kissed her. Almost.

**This feels like I've fallen in love  
Fallen in love  
Fallen in love**

* * *

**End of part 2..:) **


	7. Accept Me For Who I Am Part1

**Hi guys, thank you for still reading this story. I appreciate all of your comments and very happy with it. Thanks for the follows and faves as well. So I think from now on I'll be doing a part 1 and part 2 chapter. :)**

**Oh,my..I didn't mean for you to hate Quinn and like that Elle character (promise .) I just wanted San to be happy after that wedding but believe me, I really want Quintanna to be the end game here..hehe So I will try my best to make Quinn worthy of Santana again. Please give her another chance? LOL**

**So here's the first part of chapter 6 and hopefully I'll be posting part 2 a little while later. ^_^**

**Enjoy and review please.**

* * *

"**How can you simply be friends with someone**

**when every time you look at them,**

**you're thinking about how much more you really want."**

**- Anonymous**

**SANTANA's POV**

My heart is pounding loudly on my chest. She almost kissed me! And if she didn't say my name, I would've let her. I guess it was the alcohol. It has to be. Damn that drink, I lose control of myself when she touched me.

I can't seem to move my back from leaning against the door. I need strength right now because my knees are trembling. My stomach is flipping and I feel light headed. Yeah, definitely the alcohol, Lopez! I said to myself. Blaming what I am feeling right now to that poor glass of martini.

When I finally regain a bit of strength on my knees, I move away from the door and peak to our window. She's still there. What the fuck is she still doing there? And then I felt relieved when I heard she starts her engine and drive away.

I let out a deep sigh, reach for the stairs then went inside my old room. I let myself fall face down on my bed. I feel tired to change into my night clothes.

I heard my phone buzzed a couple of times but I ignored it. I'm not in a mood to answer texts from my friends. I can do that tomorrow, so I let myself fall asleep. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully a good one.

"_Wakey wakey!"_ I growl groggily at the sound of Britt's enthusiastic voice in my room. Good thing I only had one glass last night because if not, Britt plus hangover is not a very good combination. _"Seriously San, wake up!"_

I raised my hand to show her I am awake. I push myself from my bed and sit up so I could face her. _"Mornin Britt."_ I manage to say to her.

"_Morning San, now get a shower, we're going to meet the ND at Breadstix at nine." _She then looks at the clock on my bedside table_. "And um, you only have thirty minutes to get ready._" She smiles at me.

I sigh. I wanted to say no but she's too excited about this. I know that this breakfast date is the guys making it up to her for not being invited in our reunion. So I just nod at her then get up. After I showered I put on my skinny jeans and a white tank top. After I combed my hair, I was dragged out of the house by Britt into her waiting car.

We're inside car when I remembered something important to ask her. _"Um Britt?"_ she glanced at me smiling but quickly focuses on the road, scared that she we might have an accident like Quinn. _"Is she gonna be there?...I mean, Q."_

I heard her sigh. _"Nope. Puck said she's going to meet yo..um..someone."_ I looked at her suspiciously.

Brittany has a tell, I obviously know when she's hiding something or lying. And it's written all over on her face right now. _"Lemme guess, you made a pinky promise again?"_ She nods and looked at me quickly, apologetically. I let it slide.

We reached Breadstix after ten minutes with Britt's stories about her cat. I swear that cat is really weird, like I'm starting to believe it will never die. Imagine after nine years and it's still the same annoying cat. I was thankful when we finally arrived, I so love Britt just not her stories about L Tub.

Once I opened the door, my eyes quickly scan the room for one person. And like Britt said, she's not there. All of our friends are here except her and Puck. I don't know why I feel sad not seeing her. It's not like you wanna talk to her if she's here, Lopez! I told myself.

"_Hi guys!"_ Britt squeals and run towards our group of friends and hugs each one of them. I sit beside Rachel who is now giving me a sad look. I just shook my head and grab a stick of bread.

Rachel nudges me and whisper_. "You okay?"_ I nod at her while eating another stick. I heard her sigh. Thank goodness for phones! I was so relieved when my phone rang, which mean I don't have to talk to Berry.

I smiled when I realized who is calling_. "Hey, babe."_

"_Good, you're still alive, so I don't understand why I didn't get a call last night like I was promised."_ She said chuckling. _"I missed you though."_

Shit! I totally forgot about it. I promised her that I would call last night but I was so, um, 'distracted?' with the whole Quinn thing going on.

"_I'm sorry, I missed you too_." I sigh. When I look up, I saw every one of my friends is looking at me. What's with their faces? Why are they looking like someone died? I restrain myself from rolling my eyes at them.

"_It's okay babe. Don't worry. So how was it?"_

I panicked. Is this why they are looking at me like that? Did any of this sappy looking humans post something about my meeting with Q? _"Um..h-how's w-what?" _I asked nervously.

"_You're reunion, silly."_ I know she sense it. That something was wrong because I could hear it in her voice even though she tries to make it sound like she's happy. _"Or..is there something else we need to talk about?"_ she sounds hesitant.

"_No, everything's fine. I had fun last night with my high school friends."_ I see my friends shaking their heads. Okay, this is really weird. What do they know? I throw a sharp look at Berry and Kurt.

I heard a sigh from Elle. _"It's good to know you had fun." _I feel guilty hearing her sad voice, she knew me well to sense that there was something wrong. I still feel bad about it. It's not like I cheated on her right? We didn't kiss, I just, almost, let her. But we didn't so there's nothing to be guilty about, right? Right? I convince myself.

"_Um, babe? I might not be here when you come back tomorrow. I have to meet my brother for the weekend so I'll be back on Monday."_ She explained.

We really never talk about her family. I knew it was a pitchy topic for her and I don't want her to be upset. She just said that her parents are dead while she has a brother who she's not really close with. We just talk about them if she's the one initiating but that was like three times since we got together.

"_Yeah, sure. Have fun babe."_ I don't know but I feel like ending the call soon, maybe because I really feel guilty and all. I just don't want to lie to her, tell her that I am okay when in fact I am not. I hate lying, I always keep things real remember?

"_Uhuh. Hey babe?"_ she paused for a second. _"I love you."_

Saying it back shouldn't be this hard right? _"Love you too."_ I said then I ended the call.

I do love her. I love the way she dances in front of me. I love it how she's so cute eating bacon every morning like it's her first time everytime. I love how she raises her brow when she doesn't like what I am doing. I love it when she says random things just to make me laugh. I love it when she makes me realize how bitch I am to her and other people when I am in a bad mood. And I love how she's not afraid of telling me things just to keep me on my feet.

Fuck! Did I love her because she's like..like the girls that I've loved? I think I'm gonna throw up and have a headache. I need distraction, fast! I can't think about that right now. I don't want to.

That's when I saw Puck entering the room. Hmm..perfect! Just the man I was waiting for. I quickly slide off the chair and meet him half way. The stupid smirk on his face was replaced by worry. Obviously he knows that I want something for him.

"_It's 'bout time you came Puck."_ I told him smirking. All of our friends looked at us confused but Britt's definitely afraid for him. Before he could spin around I grab his jacket and made him sit in an empty table. _"How about you and I had a little chat?"_

"_Uh oh, Puck's in trouble."_ Mike commented.

"_What did he do last night?"_ Tina whispered to Mercedes, who just shrug.

"I told him not to bring that Jack. Maybe he did something stupid to her when he got drunk. Tsk tsk."Finn said making every one form an 'o' on their mouth.

I heard him swallowing hard. That's just eww! Disgusting as always, but I didn't let my intimidating appearance down. I want to know something and he's going to tell me right now. _"What is she up to?"_ I sit across him; I could see his discomfort and pleading eyes to the others.

I follow his gaze as the others turn around and pretend to be busy. Not wanting to intervene with us. _"Oh come on guys! Seriously? Bro?"_ I want to laugh but I choose not to. It'll give him courage to lie to me and not take this seriously. I kick him under the chair to regain his attention. _"Ow! Fuck, that hurts!" _he exclaimed while rubbing his chin

"_Are yah gonna talk or not?"_ I raise my eyebrow at him without smiling. _"Talk!"_

"_Hey Sanny, what do you think you're doing to him? And Noah what did you do?" Urg_! Rachel being her nosy self interrupts my mini interrogation.

"_I didn't do anything, I swear. I think she's crazy."_ He said while he pleads to her to take him away. I narrowed my eyes which made him stop from going. _"Jew-princess help?"_ I just rolled my eyes on him.

"Seriously, Sanny. Look at poor Noah. You're gonna give him a heart attack and this will ruin his reputation forever." Rachel said grinning while running her hand gently on his arms. As if I care about his stupid reputation.

"_Britt almost told me something about Q which involves me and I can't ask her because she made a pinky promise to this dirt ball."_ I explained to Rachel irritated so she could leave us alone_. "So I'm gonna ask you for one last time before I go all Lima heights on your disgusting ass. What is she up to?!"_ I asked him, stressing every word.

Some people inside Breadstix are now looking at us. I don't care. The staff there knows better than to interrupt me, they knew about my badass side. It took them some time before they recovered for Snix when they refused to give me my stixs.

I could see the sweat running down on his forehead. Rachel look at him confused. _"Are we talking about Quinn?"_ she asked him. Puck nod quickly. _"Oh."_ Then she looks at me suspiciously then stands up.

"_Don't look at me like that midget. I just wanna know."_ I shouted at her defensively while she walks away and into our friend's table.

She shook her head while laughing. Am I interrogating the wrong person here? I rolled my eyes. Of course Berry knows about it too! Urg. For all I know, all of them knew. Britt sees that as sign to go over our table and then sit beside me. Before I know what was going on, she signaled Puck to bolt. Before I could grab his jacket again, he quickly jump off the table and run outside as fast as he could. Britt is holding me down.

"_Britt, what do you think you're doing?"_ I growl at her annoyingly. She looked at me apologetically then hugs me.

"_I'm so sorry San, but I promised that I'll help."_ I let out a deep sigh in frustration. When she knew that it was safe for her to let me go, she pulled away and smile at me.

I swear before this day ends, I'll know what she's up to. Even if I have to torture each one of them just to speak, which I would love to do. They're eyes grew big as I look at them.

"_Sanny, please. Promise me you will stop scaring them? I'll tell you about it myself tomorrow. Pinky promise?"_ Britt said, her pinky finger right in front of me.

I let out a deep sigh. Okay so I just have to wait for one fucking torturous day before she can tell me. Great! I just nod and link our pinkies. She smiled at me sweetly and her face looks relieved.

* * *

**What do you think so far? Any idea what Quinn is up to? LOL**

**Just a hint, it has something to do with Santana's past (of course) while she was in high school. Hehe.. I know you'll figure that out 'cause you're awesome! ^_^**


	8. Accept Me For Who I Am Part2

**It's my dad's 70th bday today. I will be very busy later and I might fall asleep after the party so I decided to post this now so you won't have to wait until tomorrow. :D Thanks sssooooo much for those PM's and encouragement. *wink* That's why I am so inspired to update..LOL**

**Also thanks so so much to Jocelyn for editing/helping me with this story.. You're heaven sent! :D**

**Here's part two. Enjoy reading and oh, review please? So that I'll know if you like it. ^_^ thanks.**

* * *

"**Love changes what is probable**

**and makes unlikely things**

**possible."**

**- Ally Condie**

**QUINN's POV**

"_Puck are you sure about this?"_ I asked him nervously while looking at the big old house's porch.

He holds my hand and squeezes it. _"You'll be fine in there. Just say what you have to say….or begging could work?" _He said laughing. _"Off you go, just call me when you're done okay? I'll be at Breadstix with the guys. Thanks for letting me borrow this fine baby." _he said in his devilish smirk.

When he found out last night that I have this car, he didn't stop begging to have a spin with it. I didn't really care letting him borrow he car. Besides I am too nervous to drive.

I let out a deep sigh then he let go of my hand. I grab the brownies I bought from the Lima Bakery. I opened the door and step out of the car. 'Here goes nothing.' I said to myself.

I observe the house and everything looks the same, it looks old but still elegant and just enough for someone who lives alone. I let out a deep sigh then rang the doorbell twice. My heart's beating is so loud that it's the only thing I could hear.

When I look back on the street thinking to back out on my plan, Puck is not there anymore. Come on Fabray for Santana, you can do this. She's just an ol-

I could feel my heart suddenly stopped when I saw the door opens. I put on my best smile and saw an old lady in front of me.

"_Buenos días, Señora. Lopez."_ Yup, I can speak fluent Spanish. I studied it when I was in college along with French. _"This is me, Quinn Fabray."_ It's been years when I last visited Santana's abuela. And yes, she knows me. We spent some time before while we're doing some volunteering when I was in high school.

I heard her gasp in excitement when she finally recognizes me. _"Oh hija, come in. Lo siento for the mess."_ She said while se ushered me into her living room. I hand her the brownies I brought. _"Oh and call me abuela, you always did before." After_ receiving the brownies and put it on the center table, she pulled me in for a hug.

It feels nice to hug the old lady again. When everyone judged me when I got pregnant, she was the one who told me everything will be okay. Yeah, I didn't believe it myself but when she told me that Santana's father was also her son out of wedlock, I finally believed her.

That's why she was so angry when Santana told her she was gay. I tried to talk to her about it, but she just can't forgive her yet. Abuela was so scared that she will experience again how people around her judged her. And I understand how traumatized she was. Imagining people before were crueler than today.

When I sit on her couch, she did the same beside me and then reaches for both of my hands. Old age is now too visible on her face. Like she's tired of moving around but still you could see the distinct face of a Lopez, hard and proud. I smiled back at her.

"_I'm really happy you visit me again."_ She said still with the thick accent.

"_You know abuela, I wouldn't pass a chance to drop by everytime I'm here."_ I sweetly smile at her. _"So, how have you been?" _I asked her.

"_Everything's okay. I'm just a little lonely living alone here."_ I could see sadness in her eyes.

I understand how she feels. Santana is the only one who visits her regularly before. But when she disowned her, Santana never had the courage to go back in this house. Her abuela is one of the most important person in her life, and to be rejected by her twice will be too much for her to handle.

"_She's here in Lima."_ I said softly waiting for her reaction. I could see she was a bit surprised by it. She let go of my hands and pretend to fix the center table pieces. I let out a sigh and continue. _"She misses you so much abuela."_

"_She's a verguenza to our family_." She said softly but firm. Still convincing herself that Santana was a disgrace at her family but I know she misses her too.

I reached for her hand so she could look at me_. "Abuela, she needs you right now. I know you miss her as much as she misses you. You were more than her abuela, you were her best friend."_ I begged her.

Lopez's are known to be stubborn but if you crack them, they're very sensitive and fragile. They always say that they care about their reputation but the truth is, family is more important for them. Abuela was just too scared and proud to admit it.

She looks at me worriedly. _"But what would other people think if I accept her? I'm old, I can't stand those people talking behind my back."_ She reasoned out._"I don't think I can stand another humiliation."_

"_They have been doing that for years and as days passed they just stopped caring anymore. Like you've said, abuela, you're getting old. Don't you want to spend your days with your only granddaughter? You've already spent more than seven years ignoring her, that's a lot of time to waste abuela for someone you love." _

Yes, that's right. I was not just talking about her; I think I'm also talking about me. Wasting those years without her and I won't allow myself to let her go again.

I heard her sigh. _"Santana would call me every day to say good night and tell me te mo. She would spend at least an hour everyday with me even if she's busy at school. She makes sure that even if I am alone, I wouldn't be sad. I missed her from the first day she stopped coming here. But I was so scared to call her and tell her that."_ Her confession was heartbreaking. I know she's telling the truth and she meant all of it.

I squeeze her hand tight to make her feel that I understand how she feel right now and that I don't judge her for being scared of what other people think. _"She forgave you a long time ago. There are times that she would cry herself to sleep when she remembers you. Not because she's mad at you, but because she misses you so much."_ I assured her.

The time that Santana realizes that she wants to be a ballerina, she would cry every night remembering her abuela. It was so hard for Santana but she knows someday her abuela will forgive her and take her back as her granddaughter.

I smiled at her and then look into her eyes. Oh no! I don't like that look. It's like a there's-something-you're-not-telling-me-look that I usually see on Santana's face when her Mexican third eye is at work.

I look down and avoid her gaze. I breathe in and out. _"I ..I love ..her and I want her to be happy."_ I told myself not to panic. I just closed my eyes and wait for her to shout at me or kick me out of her house. But after a minute I just heard her let out a deep sigh.

"_Is that the reason why you're here?"_ I looked up to her and see a concern look on her face. I think I finally crack the old Lopez. Way to go Fabray!

"_Yes abuela. I spent years of regretting why I didn't fight for her. I got married and have a child but still, I feel something is missing inside me. I know you don't agree to this..um..kind of..'thing'..but when I was with her before, I feel so alive and complete. Until I messed everything up." _I stutter while I explained to her.

I felt her hand on my shoulder, and it's a comforting one. I let out a sigh of relief. _"I knew you love her more than a friend before when you were still visiting me." _I was confused. I don't understand what she just said. How could she know about it? It was after we graduate that I realized that I love her.

She let out a soft chuckle_. "I saw it in your eyes when you tell me stories about her. When you tell me how she fights with anyone else and how she's so stubborn all the time. You pretend to be annoyed when she did that thing with mono but the truth is you like it everytime she pays attention to you. You cried hard to me when you found out that she dates Sam, but you let it slip one time, when you said you were so mad at him for choosing my Santana and not anyone else." _She knew I was thinking about it too.

She's right. I was so pissed at Sam that time than I am with Santana. I told myself before that it's because she's my enemy. But if you'll think of it, I didn't care when I found out about him and Mercedes, or about him and Britt. But then again when Santana 'fake date' Karofski, I swear how I wanted to slap his face everytime I see him walking in the hallways with or without Santana. Maybe abuela was right. I did love Santana before but I was just so focused to be on top to even notice.

"_Tell me what happened hija."_ She said. I was hesitant at first. This was not part of the plan. I was supposed to just ask her to forgive Santana and not talk about my 'failed relationship' with her granddaughter. I let out a nervous sigh.

I told her everything what happened to us right after college. Of course I left out some 'delicate' information like our sex life but I told her everything I know about Santana. I could see her eyes are starting to glitter and see how she's so proud of her granddaughter.

After an hour of storytelling and answering questions from her, a moment of awkward silence took over. She's thinking hard and I hope she won't be mad at me for hurting San.

I gulp hard when she looked back at me. _"So if I get it right, you're divorced now but Santana don't want to get back with you?"_ I nod at her nervously. _"Hmm..Yes, sounds like something Santana would do."_ Then she breaks out into laughter.

I just stare at her confused and embarrassed. What the hell is so funny about that? Lopez's are really unpredictable sometimes.

Her laughter gets louder when she saw me pouts. _"Oh hija, stop pouting or I won't stop laughing."_ She said while gently tapping my arms. I smiled back at her.

When she finally stopped laughing, she sighs. _"I haven't laugh that hard since Santana was here." _She said seriously, I just listened to her. _"You are right; I let my fear of being judge by other people come between me and Tana. Soon, I'll be gone and I'll never forgive myself if I didn't see her once again." _

I reached out for her hand and squeeze it. I know it's hard for her to admit this, blame the Lopez trait, but I know it is genuine. I feel a tear fell on my cheek. I know where she's coming from because I feel the same way. I won't forgive myself if I'll lose San this time without fighting for her.

I could hear her sob. I pull her into a hug to calm her. _"Oh, Abuela. Don't worry; she'll be so happy to talk to you again. She never wanted anything in the world but you're forgiveness."_

"_Gracias, hija. For making me realize that I need this. That I need my nieta."_ My heart melts on what she said.

"_Thank you for giving her a chance." _I said softly. Then we let each other cry for another few minutes. Those emotions she had been kept inside for years and now that it's out, it'll be too much for her to bear if she won't cry it out. I am just glad that I am here, to give her a crying shoulder.

"_I am going to help you get her back if you and her are each other's true love. I know you said she has a girlfriend now but I won't let her make the same mistake as the Lopez's always do because of our stubbornness."_ She gave me an appreciative smile_. "She's just scared of being hurt that's why she will always choose the easy way out, especially when you have hurt her so many times. I know how much she loves you just by what you told me. I know her, Lopez's loves deeply. And once we find that person, it'll be forever for us. You just need to fight harder."_ She gives me a faint smile. This shocked me and I just cried even harder. I'm thankful at that moment to have abuela's help.

I spent another two hours with her talking about my life and son. She even asked about Beth. Everything was just like before when I was in high school. Abuela is a good listener and very keen observer, which Santana inherited from her.

When Puck texted me that he's already on the drive way, I finally said goodbye to her, feeling different this time. Unlike before that I leave her house with a heavy heart knowing she's still mad at Santana. But this time, I am so happy for her. She promised she'll set things right. And I believe she will.

* * *

**I feel really sad while writing this one. I cried when I first watched San confessing to her abuela, and the way she cried during that scene broke my heart. T.T**

**So I promised myself that I will write something about her abuela finally accepting her. Now I am done with it and it felt good. :)**

**Well, what do you think? Did you feel the same way? Tell me.. ^_^**


	9. Friend Of Mine

**Thanks for the new reviews, faves and follows..:)**

**There will be some spanish conversation here.. I've included trans on the bottom part. I don't speak Spanish so I used google translator..LOL**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee.. T.T**

* * *

** "It does not matter if you're homosexual.**

**What matters is how you act and your personality.**

**So just be yourself!"**

**- Samantha Smolka**

**SANTANA's POV **

_"Mija, could you get the door, por favor?" _Mami shouts from the kitchen. I turn off the tv then jumps off the couch wondering who could that be.

Seeing the person standing on our porch right now made my heart sank. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Having so many emotions caused my mind to shut down for a moment. Scared, hurt, longing, love and sadness, that is just some of what I really feel right this moment.

It was years since the last time I've seen my Abuela. She looks really old now, slightly standing straight with her cane supporting her feature. I looked around me and wish that my mom would soon come out of the kitchen to rescue me. My feet are plastered on the door keeping my abuela from going inside.

_"A-abue-la..M-mami didn't t-told me y-you're c-coming."_ I stutter, very nervous in the presence of the person who hurt me so much before.

Then the most shocking thing happened. She walks closer and hugs me. _"I'm sorry, nieta."_ My hands that are currently on my sides automatically shoot up to hug abuela tight. I didn't know I was holding in my tears before but now they just flowingdown my cheeks and I am sobbing like a five year old clinging for my dear life to a sixty-three year old lady.

Finally my mom came out from the kitchen, maybe she heard my sobs. When she saw us, I could hear her grasp for air and start to cry as well. When abuela let go of me to great mami, my heart felt sad. I was afraid that this is not true, that I was just imagining these things.

_"Oh, Mija. No seas grosero con suabuela, let her in, Dios mio! She will catch a cold out there!" _My mom scolded me while both of them laugh. Abuela reached for my arm so I could assist her inside. She smiled at me and I could feel my heart melt that instant.

I lead her to the living room and sit beside her. My eyes still can't believe it. Mami and abuela are talking when I felt my phone buzzed. I reached for it in my pocket and read who it is from.

**Did your abuela arrive safe at your house? –B**

My brow furrowed in confusion. Did Britt did all of this?

**Yes. How did u n0e? –S**

**Q told me dat wen deytalkD dis m0rnin she sed she wiL g0 deR 2nyt. :) –B**

Okay, I didn't expect that one. But I am still confused.

_"A-abuela?"_ I still stutter, cut me some slack. I haven't spoken to her for years! _"Is it true that Quinn talked to you this morning?"_ I asked shyly.

She smiled to me and reaches for my hand. _"Si. She help me realized how much I am missing out in your life."_ I could see my mom is surprise and curious as well.

My jaw fell on the ground with her revelation. So that's what she's up to. She talked the sense out of abuela, but for what?To ask me to come back to her?

_"She told me everything, your life in NY and her vida after you..umm.. broke up."_ She said hesitantly.

I blushed on the realization that I am now talking about my love life with abuela, the same person who disowned me for having such 'inappropriate' feelings in the first place.

_"S-she talked to you..a-about us?"_ Dammit. Stop stuttering Lopez! I scold myself.

"_Mija, you should talk straight. Es de mala educación a tartamudear."_Mami lectured me about rudeness. _"Abuela might not understand well what you're saying."_

_"Si, Mami. Sorry."_ I lowered my head. Only this two lady Lopez could scold me and make me feel so ashamed about it.

_"She went this morning begging me to finally talk to you."_ She said._"And I'm glad she did."_

_"Me too abuela. You have no idea how much I've missed you." _Tears starting to well up again after remembering the years I was not allowed to see her. Those frustrating nights that I was tempted to call her and to tell her goodnight.

_"Disculpeme, I will leave you two alone so you could catch up. I'll finish cooking diner." _Mami stood up and place a hand on my shoulder. I just nod at her and smiled back to abuela.

_"So tell me about New York." _Abuela said excitedly.

I feel like I'm in cloud nine right now. I start telling her stories about college, when I realized that I really want to be a dancer because of her and also to make her proud of me. I could see that she's really listening with her eyes glowing. She told me that she is, so proud of what I have become.

Papi was surprised to see abuela but is very happy. We had a very happy dinner as a family. When abuela disowned me, Papi was so hurt that he would just visit her once a week just to check on her. I could see how much he missed abuela. I looked at my parents and abuela exchanging stories; I can't help but feel be overwhelmed by emotions.

And all of this is happening because of Quinn. She did the only thing that I had no strength of doing myself.

* * *

**"I want to be the girl**

**who makes your bad days better.**

**The girl that makes you say,**

**'My life has changed since I met her.'"**

**-Anonymous**

**QUINN's POV**

It's more than a six hours flight but it's worth it. Finally I'm gonna see my baby boy. I missed him like crazy. I wanted to stay for another day in Lima but Puck said that I need to give Santana time to absorb everything. So after talking to her abuela and saying goodbye to the others, I booked a flight back to London to finally see my son.

_"Ma-mam-mma!"_ Nathan recognized meas I walk closer to him. He's playing with his nanny on the carpeted floor. I scoop him up kissed him all over his face. He giggled a lot and embraces me after.

I squeezed his little body carefully and smile. _"I missed you." _I whispered to him.

_"Welcome back Ms. Fabray."_ Annie smiled at me. She's been taking care of Nathan since he was born. Although I had Beth before, I have no idea on how to take care of a new born so Charlie hired her to be Nathan's nanny and she's been with us ever since.

I just smiled back at her. _"Are you a good boy?"_he just smiles at me and wonders what I am talking about.

I spent another hour playing with my son. Then when it's time for his bed time, Annie insisted on doing it for me since I just came home. She knows that as much as possible when I am around, I take care of Nathan unless I am really tired from writing or work.

After kissing him goodbye, I went to my own room. Charlie and I are still best friends, although he is now dating a French diplomat's daughter. Since he is now based here in London, we figured it'll be better if I'll have my own house here so I won't have to live at his. We both agreed that it'll be awkward for his girlfriend, Charlene.

After I drop my bag on my bed, I went straight to my study table. I open my laptop and check my emails. I have a lot of emails just for being away for two days. I sigh. Most of it is from my editor-in-chief and also a very good friend of mine. She's asking when I will submit my next drafts and what happened to my reunion. I just rolled my eyes and is worst than Rachel for being a nosy friend.

And then I noticed an email from Liz, Charlie's 'prodigal sister' as he calls her. He introduced her to me after the reception. I was shock because I thought he don't have any siblings. But it turns out that his father disowned her because she was gay and never heard from her since then. But when she read from the papers that her brother is getting married, she finally had the courage to show up.

Charlie bought her a studio here in London and we became really close. Shestayed here for a year while she helps me through my pregnancy. She was there when I gave birth to Nathan and when I divorced his brother. But she didn't say anything or judge me. That's what I liked about her; I could tell her anything without the fear of being judge. But everytime I try to tell her about Santana, there's something holding me back.

I haven't heard from her for more than six months after she asked me to temporarily use my unit in NY since I was staying anyway here in London. She said that there has an offer in NY for her to teach dance in a university.

**To: QuinnF.**

**Hi! Charlie asked me to come over for the weekend to meet the 'new girl'. Yey, so excited!(sarcastic). I really can't get over the fact that you're not my sister-in-law anymore and now he wants to marry again?LOL Anyways, Charlie told me that you're not there right now but will be back before the weekend so call me once you're back okay? I miss my fav guy in the world, Nathan (pls don't tell my brother..hehe). I have a lot of stories to tell you! I can't wait to see you guys.**

**Fr: Liz xoxox**

I smile after reading her email. I swear I could see Britt's attitude on her. I heard a soft knock on my door.

_"Come in."_ I said then turn off my laptop. I saw Annie carrying a sleepy Nathan.

_"It's time for his bedtime stories, Miss."_ Annie said courteously. I nod at her.

As much as possible I want to be hands on mother for Nathan. I regret being not able to do it with Beth, but I know Shelby is a great mom to her. I saw her when I went to NY and she's a very lovely kid.

_"I'll be in his room in a minute."_ I smiled at her then went inside my bathroom to freshen up.

* * *

**"I see myself like a crayon:**

**I may not be your favorite color,**

**but I know someday.**

**you will need me to complete your picture."**

**- Anonymous**

**SANTANA's POV**

_"What do you mean she's gone?"_ I asked Britt where I can find Quinn. I want to thank her for what she did. We might have our differences but I can't just let something this big go without telling her how grateful I am.

But I was shock when Britt told me that she's not in Lima anymore. _"She went back to London, last night."_ Britt simply said while eating her spaghetti. I invited Britt to have lunch at Breadstix before I go back to NY today.

_"But why?"_ I asked confused.

_"Because that's where she lives silly."_she laughs at me for being so weird.

_"No, I mean Britt, why did she leave without saying goodbye or me thanking her?"_ I said hurt that I was not able to say a proper goodbye to her.

_"You could just text or email her. And besides Sanny, you told her you don't want her in your life."_ Britt said in a matter-of-fact clarity in her voice.

I didn't mean that. I was just angry with her. But it's too late I guess.

My brow's furrow when I see Britt handing me her laptop. _"Is this new? Do you want me to teach you how to open it?"_ I asked her confused, not knowing why she's handing it to me.

"_You're really weird today Sanny. But no thanks, Lord Tubs thought me before how to open this. I'm letting you borrow it to Skype Quinn or send her email."_ She said happily.

I took the laptop and opened it, contemplating if I should call her through skype or just stick with the platonic email. And I decided on the latter one.

**To: QuinnF.**

**Fr: SantanaL.**

**Hey Q! I just want to thank you for what you did. I know I wasn't nice to you when you were here and I'm sorry okay? I don't know if I'm ready to be friends with you yet but I want to try. I owe you one.**

**I'll be going back to NY tonight. And Britt told me you're back to London. Just give me a call when you decide to visit NY. It'll be great to catch up.**

**PS. Thanks Q. You're great. I mean it.**

I let out a sigh before hitting send. I mean everything I said. I missed her as my friend. Quinn and I are always looking out for each other and doing things for the other when one of us doesn't have the balls to do so.

Things between us are pretty awesome before we complicated things. Its true two girls in a relationship is complicated than just one in it. We we're perfect best friends but I ruined everything when I fell from her. I sigh. Friends? 'Yeah, good luck with that Lopez'.

* * *

**Next chapter: Santana is back in NY.. I know you guys already figured out about Elle, so let's just see how the three of them will meet. LOL**

**Anyone who wanna guess? :D **


	10. I'm Out Part1

**Hey guys, update again..:) Thanks for still reading this story.., neweiz, there will be a lot of angst in this chapter so that I could get on with the good stuff..LOL**

**Maybe I'll just have one or two chapters for this story..:D**

* * *

**"Best friends understand when you say forget it.**

**Wait forever when you say just a minute.**

**Stay when you say leave me alone."**

**- Anonymous**

**QUINN's POV**

Reading Santana's email made my heart smile. She wants to be my friend again, even though that's not what I only wanted us to be, but it's a good start. We could be friends then everything will be back the way it was before.

_"Tell me I'm not gonna meet your new lover today too."_ My confused eye meets the statue of a beautiful blonde walking towards my office with a very huge grin on her face.

Upon hearing Liz's voice, I close my laptop too quickly to jump off my chair to give her a welcome hug.

_"What do you mean?"_ I finally asked her once we pulled off from each other's embrace.

She rolled her eyes at me while grinning._ "Oh, no. Don't give me that shit. I saw your huge smile a while ago."_ Liz said while her finger points at my laptop.

_"Oh, that. It was nothing._" I said a little embarrassed and try to avoid eye contact while I sit on the reclining chair across her.

I haven't told Liz about Santana and my other friends because just talking about her before was too much for me to handle.

_"Whatever. You know I'm cool with that right? My brother is surprisingly happy and I want you to be happy as well."_ She smiles at me encouragingly; her face says she's hoping it will make me open up to her. _"So, who's the lucky guy?"_ she said teasing me.

I shook my head but can't stop the smile starting to crawl on my lips. My smile grew bigger when I heard her squeal. "Look! There's that smile again!" she exclaimed like a five year old on a Christmas Eve waiting to open her presents.

_"Stop it._" I could feel my face turning red which made her laughs. I ignored her and pretend to focus on my laptop.

_"Fine. If you won't tell me who he is, I'll find out about it."_ she said pouting.

And now it was my turn to laugh at her silliness. Liz doesn't know I am gay, all she knew was my marriage with Charlie was just because of Nathan. As time passed by we got used to it and didn't bother to correct her assumption.

_"So if you're not dating then I could set you up on a blind date?"_ definitely not. My mind immediately answered.

I just shrug hoping she will stop if I ignore her.

_"Oh, come on Quinnie. You are one hot momma! A lot of guys would kill for those."_ She said while she wiggles her eyebrows and points at my body.

_"I'm not..um..interested Liz."_ I said on the verge of outing myself to her._ "Besides I'll be busy next week. I'll be going back to NY to take care of some business."_

Liz pretends to doze off while I explain._ "Perfect! So I'll set up everything then."_ She said ignoring my protest.

_"Again, I'm not interested."_ I'm starting to be a bit annoyed at her determination in setting me on a blind date.

I looked at her; she seems like thinking very hard. And then when she looked back at me grinning, I have a feeling I wouldn't like what she's about to say.

_"I'll make you a deal. You go out on just one 'dinner' with a friend, and then I will never, 'ever', force you again."_ She said with her most pleading eyes. I let out a sigh. I have to tell her or else she won't stop.

_"Come on Quinnie, It'll be just one date with my friend. He saw your picture last week and he won't stop bugging me about you, I just wa-"_

I breath in a out to gather courage on what I am about to confess to Liz._ "I..I'm g..gay."_ I finally said it. It made her stop talking. Now she's looking at me with her wide eyes, shock definitely evident on her face. I let out another deep sigh._ "That's the reason Charles and I divorced."_

_"Oh."_ She looks very confused now. I know she has a lot of questions in her mind. So I close my laptop and walk around my table to sit across her.

_"You can ask me anything you want to know."_ I smile at her shyly. _"I'm sorry for keeping this. I just didn't want to talk about her. It hurts too much."_ I let my gaze fall on the floor.

She reaches for my hands and stops it from fidgeting._ "Hey, it's okay. I admit I was a little upset but I respect why you did that. It was not easy for me as well before."_ She said to me encouragingly. I felt relieved, she is one of my close friends and I don't want to lose her. _"Now I have someone better that I would love for you to meet."_ She said grinning.

_"Seriously? I just came out to you like five seconds ago and now you are setting me up already on a date?"_ I shook my head at her with disbelief but still smiling. I went back on my office chair and concentrate on my laptop.

Her laughter filled my office. _"Awesome, right? I've always wanted to hook you up on a date, I was just afraid Charlie would cut my head."_ She said giggling.

_"If I agree will you stop pestering me forever with your matchmaking?"_ I asked her seriously.

I know Liz, she won't stop bothering me with this every day until I finally agree. And right now I need to focus my attention to work and getting Santana back. It won't hurt if I'll go on one dinner with her friend and pretend to enjoy the company.

Liz nods her head fast which made me smile._ "Fine, just one and then no more dates, okay?"_ she nods again, this time she's grinning and it's making me crazy nervous. I know she's up to something. I just have to prepare myself and expect the worse.

* * *

**"Sometimes other HEARTS**

**had to BREAK to keep **

**YOURS intact."**

**- J. Sterling**

**SANTANA's POV**

Something was definitely wrong with Berry. She was okay when we came back from Lima three days ago, but now she's acting really weird. She's not annoyingly singing this morning, her boyfriend Troy was calling on our phone (which Berry left a note beside it: IF TROY CALLS, I'M NOT HOME.) every other minute asking if she's home and Kurt is obviously worried about her.

When Berry went inside her room, I quickly ambushed Kurt in his room._ "What's up with Manhands?"_

Kurt just shrugs which makes me more irritated. I know they are hiding something from me, and not knowing about it is annoying, besides she's my best friend. _"Seriously Kurt, tell me or I'm gonna fucking ends you. So tell me what's making our annoying broadway princess socially acceptable today?"_

He let out a heavy sigh. _"She broke up with Troy."_

_"I figured that out already hummelita, what I want to know is why the sudden drama queen?"_ he won't look at me straight in the eyes._ "Fine, I'll figure it out by myself, and you know how I do that."_ I told him as I slowly walk away from him, I am waiting for him to finally stop me and confess.

_"Wait San!"_ Gotcha! I removed my grin before I turn around to face him. I fold my arms over my chest and lean on the door while waiting for him to speak again.

_"San, it's not in my position to tell you about this but I can't let you make things worse for her."_ She let out a deep sigh. My eyes are squinted, trying to absorb what he was trying to say._ "She's having some 'unsolicited' feelings for someone. And it's inappropriate 'cause they're in a relationship."_

Now he got me confused. So Berry breaks up with Troyan abs because she likes someone else who is in a relationship_. "Whoa, who would have thought our diva is a hard core cheater."_ I said amused which earned a growl from Kurt.

_"Please keep your inner voice to yourself. She's too confused right now and your snarky comments won't help her."_ He commented very annoyed at me.

I rolled my eyes at him then went to outside of the room. I think I have something to get me busy while I wait for my rehearsal which is next week. I am about to barge in Rachel's room when I heard her talking to someone on her phone. I move my ear close to the door to listen.

_"I thought I was over it but I wasn't. I don't know what to do anymore."_ Then I hear sobbing.

_"I need to move out. I can't.. I can't even look at them..It hurts."_ I'm even confused now. What the hell is she talking about? Move out? Is she talking about me or Kurt?

_"She's happy with her."_ Okay, she's definite talking about me. Oh shit!

I quickly stepped away from the door until I can't hear her voice anymore. I don't think I am ready to know whatever Berry is going through right now. I was just joking every time I tease her, I didn't know she would really fall for me. Shit!

This is beyond fucked up. I don't need this now, especially not from Berry. I already have Quinn and Elle to think of; please don't let it be what I think it is.

I'm still standing near her door when she goes out, for the first time today she looked straight in my eyes. Her eyes widened when she realized the possibility that I heard her. She's about to say something when I stormed out of the apartment.

_"Santana, wait!"_ I could hear her calling my name. I ignored her, instead of stopping; I walk as fast as I can to get away from her and the apartment. I need to think.

* * *

**"True love**

**has a habit of coming back, **

**usually in the most unexpected ways."**

**- Anonymous**

**QUINN's POV **

_"Wow, you look great!"_ I look up to a grinning Liz who's not checking me out._ "If only I don't have a girl friend, I'll definitely ask you out."_ She said joking while sitting across me.

Tonight is my second night back in NY. I was too tired yesterday that's why I decided to do the blind date tonight to get it over with. And tomorrow I'll go and talk to Santana, try to fix our 'friendship' and spend some time with her.

I chose the resto-bar near the central park so that it'll be closer to my pent house. So that my date won't have to drive me home, it's just three minutes walk from here.

_"I'm sorry she'll be running a little late, but she just texted me she would come."_ Liz said while typing something on her phone. _"And um, Quinnie?"_

I looked at her to indicate that I am listening. _"She didn't know this is a blind date."_

And like a blink of an eye, my eyebrows furrow and my gritted my teeth._ "What the hell Liz! You didn't tell her about this? Why?!"_ I asked angrily for her explanation. Not caring about the people looking at us on the other table near us.

_"Sorry?"_ she said apologetically. _"But I told her to dress nice. And you will like her, I promise. She's gorgeous, smart and very entertaining."_

_"Then you should be the one dating her!_"I said sarcastically while I rolled my eyes on her then gather my purse to leave when I heard someone speak.

_"I'm so sorry, I got held up at home."_ She obviously didn't pay any attention to me. She went straight on hugging Liz.

I seriously don't know how to react, I want to laugh, I want to cry and most of all I want to scream. What the hell is going on here?!

_"Quinn?!"_ she gasp and cover her mouth with her hands. If I am shock, Rachel's expression was worse. Both of our eyes are wide and jaws dropped on the floor. Not believing the person standing in front of each other.

_"W..wait, You know each other?"_ It's the first time I was Rachel speechless. She just looked at Liz confused then right back at me.

_"Yes."_ I finally recovered from the shock. _"S..she's my high school..umm..friend?"_ looking at Rachel for confirmation. She nods.

_"How did you know each other?"_ Rachel and I asked at the same time. The only one who laugh is Liz.

Liz laughter made us look at her confused._ "Quinn is my brother's ex-wife and Rachie is my girlfriend's bestfriend. Now we got that out of the way, I'll now leave you two alone to catch up."_ Liz said then she stood up and guides Rachel to take her place.

_"W..wait, what?!"_ Rachel objects._ "I thought we're the one talking?"_ then she looks at me. _"I need to talk to you in private."_ She said it in a very obvious way that she don't want me to hear her eagerness to talk to Liz.

Liz thinks for a minute. _"Hmm, after your date, we'll talk okay?_" she run her hands on Rachel's arm. The brunette just sigh heavy then nods. _"Perfect, so I'll go now okay? Enjoy yourselves kids._" Then she left with a huge grin on her lips.

It was an uncomfortably five minutes of awkward silence after Liz left that I decide to finally speak. _"Tell me she's not talking about Santana."_ It was like a whisper because just thinking about it makes me run out of air.

Rachel let out a deep sigh. _"They've been together for almost six months now."_

I reached for the glass of wine and drink it straight. I have to drink because my mouth suddenly went dry of what I've heard. It can't be. How can be things so messed up?

_"Why are you here Quinn?"_

_"I have to do something._" I simply said. I don't want to reveal any of my plans to her. I don't know how close she is with Liz and I never trust Rachel to keep a secret.

_"That's absurd! You're here for San aren't you?! Do you think she will come running back to you after what you did for her in Lima?"_ she said to me accusingly.

I don't like where this conversation is going, I need to get out of here fast._ "I have to go."_ I said to her coldly as I attempt to stand but she grip my wrist and pulled me to sit back again._ "What the hell, Berry?"_

I heard her scoff,_ "So we're back on the last name basis huh? What's next, you're gonna fucking call me Ru Paul again?"_ Did she had many wines? Cause there's no way a sober Rachel will curse. I looked at the wine bottle, and damn, it's almost empty. I only had one glass.

I forcefully pulled my arm from her tight grip and sit straight. _"You're drunk Rachel, let's get you home."_ But she just fake laugh at me.

"Home? I hate that place! I hate Santana! I so fucking hate her for making me hurt!" she's shouting now, I looked around and see that we're attracting attention now. I shoot them an apologetic smile then face Rachel again.

_"Look Rach, I don't know what's your deal with San but I'm not gonna sit here and be embarrassed by a drunk diva."_ I said to her in a firm voice which made her pout. _"I'll take you to my place if you don't want to go home yet."_

In an instant, her face light up then nods. I let out a deep sigh then call for the waiter to get our bill. After paying, I asked help from the waiter to assist Rachel and then hail for a cab.

I wanted to call Liz and ask her a thousand questions but I'm sure she's with San right now. After ten minutes we're inside of my apartment, with Annie's help she placed the drunken Rachel on a guest room. I went to check on my son and watch him sleep. I want to be calm and this is the only way I know, by looking at my angel.

_"Excuse me, Miss. Ms. Berry is already settled on the guest room."_ Annie informed me. I nod at her and let her take over my place beside Nathan. I kissed him goodnight then went outside the veranda to get some fresh air.

Not long after, I heard the doorbell rang. Finally, Liz came! I was just about to call her and hope she could come over tonight so we could talk.

While I step closer to the door, my heart becomes heavy. Maybe the thought of Liz being Santana's girlfriend makes me feel like this. I swallowed hard and breathe in and out before turning the door handle.

Once I opened it, I felt like my heart stopped from beating. My face turned white and my palms immediately became moist.

_"S..santana?"_ I manage to say even though I'm running out of air.

I suddenly forget how to properly breathe and my stomach feels like its twitching. I tighten the grip of my left hand on the door frame while the other's grip on the handle serves as my support. Because seeing Santana here on my door makes me feel that I'm gonna lose consciousness.

* * *

**A cliffhanger? hehe Don't hate me..:) **

**On Rachel: I have a plan for her.. wait for the next chap..LOL**

**I love reading your reviews, that's how I know if I should still continue with this story or not.. . Thanks.**


	11. Emotionally Cheats

******I'm really happy with the responses I got with the previous chapter..Thanks so much for reading this story..:)****  
**

**I re upload this after seeing some typo errors..hehe Sorry for that and if ever I missed some more, feel free to inform me..^_^**

**Enjoy.:)**

* * *

"**If YOU don't receive LOVE**

**from THE ONE who are MEANT to love you,**

**you will NEVER stop LOOKING for it."**

**- Robert Goolrick**

**SANTANA's POV**

It's been two months since the last time I've been in this expensive building, that's the day I helped Elle move some of her things into her fully renovated penthouse. But the first time I was here was unforgettable. That was the night Elle and I made love after our first date.

At that time, I had no idea that the sister-in-law Elle had told me that night is Quinn. We've been together for more than six months and I didn't even know about this. _"Stupid!"_ I scold myself. We we're so eager to avoid being hurt again by talking about our past, what we didn't know is we'll be hurt greater today because of not knowing about it.

The sound of the elevator's buzzer brought me back to my senses. Once the door opens, I quickly stepped out of it to walk towards the big door. I stop for a minute in front of it.

My hands are shaking and I can't even feel them. All I know is that all the parts of my body won't do as what I say. Like this fucking heart that won't stop beating so fast, while my lungs chose tonight to not function fully because I feel out of breathe every second that pasts and this damn mind won't stop thinking about her..Quinn.

I need to talk to her and know the truth. I have to see for myself if Elle was really saying the truth.

I rang the doorbell twice then wait for her to open. I feel nervous but at the same time excited, if that's even possible. I let out a deep breath to calm my nerves when I heard a noise on the other side.

"_S..santana?"_ I could see her face turned pale the moment she sees me.

"_We need to talk."_ I said while I wait for her to move aside and let me in.

* * *

**...TWO HOURS EARLIER...**

I've been pacing on our kitchen floor for thirty minutes now, trying to think the right thing to do about my 'situation' with Rachel. When I came home an hour ago, I didn't expect her to be here. My plan was just to get my things and go to Elle's place. But unfortunately, she was here, waiting for me.

I had no choice but to listen to what she's about to say. I sit across her on the couch in the living room. There was complete silence for a minute because neither one of us wants to start the conversation.

I heard Rachel takes in a huge amount of air into her lungs and then exhales it. I could see that her attempt to calm herself did not work. Nervousness is still visible in her face, her lower lip being bit every second and her hands fidgeting.

"_I..I have to tell you something Sanny."_ Finally, she had the courage to speak.

I just stare at her blankly, honestly not knowing what to say. So I just nod at her and motion for her to continue.

She let out a deep sigh. _"I'm not a good friend San. I did some outrageous things for the sake of love. I'm weak and worse than Quinn."_ She said while covering her face with her hands, as if she's so ashamed of showing it to me.

Rachel really confuses me more when she doesn't talk like an annoying walking dictionary. It seems like right now I prefer her paragraph reply, than a single liner with underlying meanings. Like what she's fucking doing right now talking about friendship, her horrid deeds and then compares herself to Q I one sentence. I had no idea what she means.

"_Rachel, will you quit beating around the bush! What's wrong?"_ I said irritated.

Again, she let out a deep sigh. _"I.. I thought if I'll ignore what I feel.. It'll just go away. But it didn't."_ she bit her lower lip trying to stop the sob that she's been keeping inside. Rachel avoided my gaze at all cost. _"I..I'm sorry San."_

Why can't you just ask her Lopez? What are you so scared of? I scold myself. I need to know if it's me or Elle. Rachel is my friend but I know they've been really close too this past few months. They hang out everytime I'm busy with work and Elle prefers to stay here in our apartment instead of hers.

"_Stop fucking with my head Berry." _My tone doesn't conceal the annoyance I now feel. She's starting to freak me out every minute that I wait for her to tell me all about it.

* * *

"**To burn with desire and keep quiet about it**

**is the greatest punishment we can bring**

**on ourselves."**

**- Federico Garcia Lorcia**

**RACHEL's POV**

"_I..I am in love with you."_ My voice cracked once I said it. I looked up at her face, she seems a bit surprised but eventually recovered from it. She didn't throw any snarky comments so I took it as a good sign.

So I continued, _"I didn't mean for it to happen San, I was truly happy for you and Elle when you meet each other again. And then you started hanging out with her, at first I thought I was just jealous because I'm starting to lose my bestfriend. Until one day, it started to hurt when I saw you kissed her, and that's when I realized that I do feel something for you."_

It feels like there is a huge lump on my throat while I speak the truth about my feelings. My face starts to feel hot and my eyes are getting blurry every second. I bit my lip to prevent myself from crying. I'm not yet done talking and if I cry I'm scared that I won't be able to finish this.

I try hard to read Santana's emotions but there's nothing. She just stares back at me with her blank face. _"They said keep your friends close and your enemy closer. So that's what I did. I came out to Elle and ask for her help."_ Santana's eyes widened with that.

_"What the fuck? Y..you told her you love me?"_ she exclaims as she stood up. She starts to panic.

I quickly shook my head and went closer to her. _"Hey, of course not."_ I said while I reach out for her arms to stop her from pacing. _"I just ask her to accompany me to some gay bars and to meet some friends of hers. To..um..experiment and truly accept who I am."_

"_Rach, you're starting to really confuse me here."_ She whispered. I can see that this is not also easy for her.

I look deeply in her eyes and cup her face. Before she could react, I kiss her. I let my tongue brush her lips to gain access, but she didn't so I just decided to stop.

Disappointment and hurt, that's what I feel right now. I let my hands fell on my sides as I take one step back, away from her. I want her to see me hurting, so she would know that what I feel right now is real.

She did look at me with concern in her eyes, but it was a kind of look that someone would give to their friend because that's just what I am to her. I'm just her best friend that would take her shit. The best friend who always helps her gets on her feet, every time she's a mess.

"_I don't want you to be with Elle, Britt, Quinn or any other woman San. I..I want you to be with me."_ My voice cracked when I said it. Although it was just a whisper, I know she heard me.

From concern to pity, that's what her face is showing me right now. And it surprisingly hurts more, than to be rejected by her. Who would want to receive pity from the person they love? I seriously don't. "_Look, Rach. I know I've been such a bitch and a terrible friend to you. God! I didn't even notice that there was something wrong before it was too late."_ She said really frustrated with herself, then she step closer to me and reached for my hands and bring it close in front of her lips and kissed it. _"I'm so sorry for not knowing about this early. You're my best friend and I hate seeing you like this."_ Her eyes are also starting to well up.

My heart melted on her apology. I could feel that she meant every word of it. _"S..san."_

She now placed my hands in front of her chest, and leveled it very close to her heart. I could feel her heartbeat. _"I will always love you Rach, but just not the same way that you do."_

I couldn't stop myself from crying so hard when she said that. She pulled me into a hug while I sob in her chest. I could hear her whisper 'sorry' repeatedly while sobbing too. So this is it, I've laid out my feelings for her with hope that she would consider it. But she didn't, instead she said we will always be friends. I guess that's all we could ever be.

When we pull from each other's embrace, we just stare. Not knowing the right words to say. Santana then wipes my wet cheek with her finger. I just closed my eyes and savor the moment because I know this is the closest I could ever be with her.

When all of a sudden, I hear my phone beeps. She let go of my face then motioned for me to get it. It was from Elle. Shoot! I forgot, we're supposed to talk tonight.

**Rachie, wer r u? ur late, bin here for 10 mins. –Elle**

I look up to Santana, who's now in the kitchen drinking water. There's still one thing that I want to tell her but I think I should talk to Elle first about it. I sigh then type in a reply.

**Sorry, I'll be there in ten. Thank you for agreeing to talk to me tonight. –R**

"_San?"_ I called out her name, she turn around to face me. _"I'll..umm..have to meet someone. Don't wait up."_ Well that was awkward.

"_Yeah..umm.. okay." _Not awkward at all.

* * *

"**True love never dies,**

**even if you found a new love.**

**The sweet memory of the past**

**will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life."**

**- Jeffrey**

**SANTANA's POV**

…**.TWENTY MINUTES LATER….**

"_Hope you're thinking about me." _I heard Elle whispered behind my ear. I smiled at her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"_Bet I am."_ I wink at her then she sits on the chair across the dining table. _"I didn't hear you came in."_ I said to her confuse while looking back at the door which is now closed.

She smirks at me. _"Well, you were so focused on thinking something..or someone perhaps_?" I guess she's right. I'm still thinking about Rachel and what I should do. _"So?"_ she stares at me seriously while waiting for me to answer.

I let out a sigh. Should I tell her? She's my girl friend and she has the right to know. _"It's Rachel."_ Her eyebrow rose. _"She's been having..umm..feelings..for a friend…umm..a woman actually..that she's knew since high school."_ I can't believe I just stutter. _"Fuck."_ I murmured.

But I didn't expect the reaction that I got from it. She's smiling goofily as if she just discovered something very important from what I've said. _"Is it Quinn?" _she asked me very excitedly which made me more confused and shocked. How the hell did she knew about Quinn?! _"Is it? San come on tell me!"_

My brows furrowed. "How the hell did you know about Quinn?" she loudly squeals and stood from her chair, then jump up and down like a five year old. I came to her side and hold her shoulders to make her stop. _"Babe, tell me, how did you know about her?" I'm_ starting to panic. I have a feeling that I am missing out on something here.

She catches her breath then smile sweetly at me. _"They're actually on a date tonight."_

"_What?! They can't go on a date! That's freaking impossible!"_ I exclaimed which made her very shock, her smile is now gone and she's eyeing me very suspiciously.

Now I'm freaking out. Quinn is here in NY and on a date with Berry. I now start to pace in the kitchen floor while trying to think. I almost bump into Elle when she stands in front of me. She cups my face for me to look straight in her eyes. _"Hey. She's gonna be fine. Quinn is great."_ My brows furrowed with what she said.

"_Remember when I told you about the penthouse in City Spire building? That was hers; she let me stayed there for a while even though she and my brother were divorced already. I know Rach will like her." She said to me in an assuring tone._

Well this is so fucked up. I had no idea that all this time my girlfriend is Quinn's ex-sister-in-law! Yeah, talk about some serious shit!

"_Are you okay babe? You look like you're gonna hurl. You look really pale and your hands are so cold."_ She said to me very worried.

"_Yeah,um..I'm just gonna use the bathroom for a while_." I lied to her, she just nods at me.

I head to the bathroom door and lock myself inside. I just need time alone to think and absorb what's happening.

I stare back at my face in the mirror. Elle was right; I looked like I just saw a ghost. I let out a deep sigh to relieve the tension that I am feeling then I heard my phone rings. I immediately answered it when I saw Rachel's picture on the screen. Before I could speak and ask questions, I hear her speaking to another person.

"_What's yooouur name?"_ She sounds like drunk. Fuck! Is she on a bar with Quinn?

"_Annie, I'm the nanny of Ms. Fabray's son."_ I heard an unfamiliar voice. I'm relieved to know that she's currently at Quinn's house. _"Are you comfty, miss?" _I heard Rachel giggles.

"_Thank you Nnaaannny!" _Rach jokes. _"But you can leave nnoooow, Am gonna talk toooo someone..It's immmpolite to eveeeesdrop."_

"_What the heck Berry, you drunk?"_ I asked her irritated.

She didn't reply instantly, maybe she fell asleep. _"You ssooouunnds like my Sanny, Elle."_ I heard her giggle again.

Is she calling Elle but instead her call was connected to me? But why would she call her drunk?

"_I just want..you to know..that..umm, I'm in love with..you're..girl. But it's ookay, cos she's mah friend."_ she fake laugh for a moment then quickly followed by sobs. _"Huh, a friend… that's just what she wanted us to beeee. But..don't be too happy yet. Cause her ooonnneee true loooove is back, we're both doooomed yah know?" _Even if I had a hard time understanding her drunken speech, I get what she wants to say. She's warning Elle about Quinn.

"_I doont want youuu for Sanny cause yooouur a cheeeaaater!" _she sounds very angry._ "I thought yooou're fine for her, I'mm reaaddy to let gooooo and stay aawaaaay but you fucked me! Aannd that's whhyy I haaad thhee courage to tell Sanny my ffeeeelings! But yah know? Weee both don't deserve heeer…."_

Did she just say they had sex? _"Hey, Berry what the fuck do you mean?!"_ I didn't hear any response; all I could hear is her heavy breathing. She fell asleep. _"Berry wake up!"_ I shout at the receiver but still nothing.

"_Hey, babe everything okay in there?"_ I heard Elle knocking on the door. Perfect! If I can't talk to Berry then better talk to the sober one involve with it. I hastily opened the door to meet the worried face of Elle. When she sees that I am angry, her brows furrowed.

"_Tell me Berry was lying. Tell me you didn't.."_ I bit my lip hard not to cry. When she looked down I knew it. But she confirmed it when she starts to cry. I was so mad that I punch the door. My hand hurts but I didn't care. I'm mad and I don't want to hit her. _"Why?" _Tears are now falling down my cheeks. She can't even look at me.

"_I'm s-sorry."_ Her voice cracked. When she looks up and tries to touch me I step back.

"_Don't fucking touch me!"_ I shouted at her then push pass her. I went straight at the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mouth is getting dry so I need something to drink before I lose my voice.

"_S-san. I'm so sorry."_ Elle said with her pleading eyes and stand in front of me. _"It was just one time when we went out with my friends. We were drunk and I..I didn't mean for it to happen."_

I wipe my tears and shook my head. I want to say hurtful things to her but still I can't make myself hurt her like she's doing to me now. I'm not like that anymore.

"_Just stop, Elle. I don't want to hear it. You can't just expect me to forgive you after saying sorry. It's now how things work."_ I want to get away from her as soon as possible but she forcefully grips my arm to stop me.

"_I admit, I lied and cheated once but I regretted after. I never loved anyone besides you. Santana, I only love you." _I scoff at her and rolled my eyes. My heart knows it's true but my mind tells me otherwise.

She lets go of my arm and gave me a stern look. _"Fine, you want to talk about cheating? Then tell me that you never, not even once, thought about your ex! That she never cross your mind when you're with me. Tell me you don't love her anymore!"_

I want to tell her something to make her stop but I can't say anything. I would be lying to her and to myself. She's right; I'm still in love with Quinn after all those years.

I look away and she took it as my answer. She sobs again and leans on the kitchen counter. "_Now who's been cheating every day?"_ She managed to murmur.

Now it's my time to feel guilty. I let out a sigh. _"You're right. And I think that we'll just hurt each other if we continue this."_ I said calmly looking at her. She bit her lips to ease the sobbing a bit. _"I may still have feelings for her but I did love you. I tried to forget her for you. I really did try."_

I walk towards her. I put my hand on the back of her head and kiss her temple. "Goodbye."

My heart is breaking hearing her cry like that. I know it was wrong of me to feel like something heavy was lifted off my shoulders. Knowing she cheated on me which led us to end our relationship should devastate me right now, but it didn't.

Yes, I am upset and hurt but still, deep inside I feel relieved. I don't know where my feet are taking me. All I know is, I'm walking towards the place where my heart wants me to go.

* * *

…**PRESENT TIME…**

Santana rang the doorbell twice then she waits for Quinn to open. Fear and excitement very evident in her, she let out a deep breath. Her body tensed when she heard the noise on the other side of the door.

"_S..santana?"_ Quinn's face turned white instantly when she saw Santana standing outside her door.

"_We need to talk."_ Santana said while waiting for Quinn to let her inside.

* * *

**Another cliffhanger? LOL Nah, not really.**.

**Not really sure if I'll continue with another chapter or just end it here. Haha I'll base it on the views and reviews I'll get on this chapter. ^_^**


	12. Everything Is About Forgiveness part 1

**(****If this is your first time to read chapter 12, skip the NOTES that are not bold below. But I know because you're curious you will read it anyway..LO****L) ^_^**

Here's the deal, after reading some comments about the last chapter I realized that I did miss important points of the prequel and sequel and I apologize for that. I was so in a hurry to finish this story that I forgot to take the prequel into consideration. Thanks for those reminders..^_^

So after long time of thinking, I decided to write a brand new chapter and please just disregard the one you've read that I posted before. This chapter is a totally different one from what you've read. You ask for angst, then here it is.. :P

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**"GO for it, I know you have it in you. **

**And I can't PROMISE that you'll get what YOU WANT,**

**but I CAN promise NOTHING will change if you DON'T try."**

**- J.M. Darhower**

**QUINN's POV**

"_S..santana?"_ my face turned pale the moment I saw her once I opened the door.

"_We need to talk."_ she said.

I moved aside to give her way to go inside. I'm still surprised to see her here at this time of night. I watch her as she walks inside like she knows the place by heart. Have she been here? Oh yeah how stupid of me. Of course she knows the place! Liz is her girlfriend for fuck's sake.

_"Did you know about Elle and Berry_?" she asked me angrily. I furrowed my brows confused, thinking whose Elle is. _"Urg, never mind! Where's hobbit?"_ I was a bit surprise that she still call Rachel names until now. _"Where's that fucking bitch?!" _Okay she's mad.

Santana starts to walk towards the guest rooms, I ran just to catch up with her. _"Santana, wait!"_ I grab her arm to make her to stop walking. She throws me a sharp stare. _"What do you think you're doing?"_

Annie went out of Nathan's room, worried and wondering where the shouting came from. I just motioned for her that it's okay and she just need to go back inside, she obeyed. Then I faced Santana again.

I could see anger and so much pain on her face. _"Hobbit slept with my girl! What the fuck is she thinking?" _her voice cracked as her tears freely overflows from her eyes.

My mouth went dry hearing about it. Liz is her girl friend so that means she slept with Rachel. Fuck! What the hell are they thinking doing that? That's when I heard Santana's sobs. The view before me is heart breaking.

I pulled her in for a hug and just stayed quiet. I know she's hurting, I bet memories of Britt cheating on her before came rushing back to her. This is the same broken Santana that I saw when we were in high school when she found out about Britt and Artie.

Her expression is hard again after she pull away from the hug. _"She's drunk; you won't get any sober explanation from her." _I explained calmly to her while I ran my hands up and down on her arms to relax her and block her way to next guest room door. When she finally nods I took it as a sign to guide her back into the living room.

_"Fine, you had a lot of explaining to do just like her."_ She firmly said while she follows me.

I sigh, _"I know and I'm ready to answer all of them."_ I wait for her to settle down in the couch. _"So what do you want to know?"_

_"First, how the hell did you know Elle?"_ My brows furrowed after hearing the name. Who the hell is that?

I think hard for a while and sit down on the couch across her, _"Oh, you mean Liz?"_

She rolled her eyes at me, _"Yeah, Liz, Elle, Elizabeth whatever her name is."_ She sounds so annoyed right now.

I breathe in and out and think of the best way to start, _"Liz is Charlie's sister, I first saw her after the wedding when she came to congratulate him. I was surprised to know that he still have a living relative, but I guess you already know what happened to her."_ I said an unsure tone, she nods.

"_Charlie gave her a studio in London and we became friends when she moved in with us. She helped me through my pregnancy but after I gave birth to Nathan, she got an offer to teach in NY." _

_"That's when I saw her again."_ She whispered like she's putting the pieces together.

I sigh, _"Now it's my turn. How did you meet her?"_

She looks up to me and let out a deep breath before speaking, _"Remember the night of your engagement that I went awol?"_ I think about it for a minute and then my mouth formed an 'ohh' when I realized what she wanted to say. _"Yeah, she's that woman I was with all night."_

_"She never mentioned you to me while she was with us."_ I asked very confuse.

She let out a fake chuckle_, "That's because after I left, we never saw each other again until she moved to NY."_ She explains.

All I could do is nod at her, now what? Come on Fabray, you have a lot of questions right? Now is the perfect time to ask her. I thought to myself.

_"Thanks again for talking to abuela."_ She said to me with an appreciative look on her face_. "I never really thought that she would talk to me again."_ She stands up and scoops me into a hug. _"Thanks Q." _

I just nod at her. I don't trust myself to speak without my voice cracking when we are this very close with each other. The hug warms my heart and we both take time to enjoy each other's closeness. When she pulled away, I immediately feel sadness.

* * *

**"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; **

**it has to be made – like bread, **

**remade all the time, made new."**

**- Ursula K. LeGuin**

**SANTANA's POV**

I missed how Quinn's body perfectly fits in my arms. We both need that embrace to finally be at ease with each other because now I want to talk about what happened to us.

_"Want some drinks?"_ she asked nervously. _"I don't have hard alcohol though; I had a corporate party here the other day for opening my new publishing company and those bastards ransack my liquor cabinet."_ She chuckle as she stands and go to the kitchen.

After a minute, she came back with two glass of white win and gave one to me while smiling. _"Hope this is fine?"_ then she sits again to her previous place.

I took a sip of the wine then smell it, _"Domaine Leflaive, nothing but the best for Quinn Fabray huh?"_ I said teasing her. _"Or are you just getting me drunk to get in my pants?"_

She rolled her eyes at me but smile_, "Please, we had a lot of issues to take care of, before we get into that. So don't be cocky with me."_ she said back confidently.

_"Well it's good to know you have plans in doing that in the future."_ I smirk at her. I almost burst into laughter when she almost chokes on her wine. _"Yah okay there Fabray?" _I asked grinning.

Her face turns red and I know it's definitely not the wine. _"What a surprise, you're now pro in teasing Lopez huh." _she shoots back.

_"Practice makes perfect."_ I said so proud of myself for still having that effect on her.

Her eyebrow rises and she exhales. She's about to say something when we both heard a gasp. Without thinking, I quickly stand up and walk into her direction. Quinn knows what I'm about to do that's why she followed me instantly, but still I was faster than her.

_"S..san? What are you doing here?"_ Rachel asked curiously, obviously no idea on what she said on the phone a while ago.

I didn't answer her but instead I swing my hand at her face so hard that she almost go down the floor. Quinn gasps loud while Rachel's eyes glitter while she holds the now red cheek because of my slap.

_"San, calm down."_ Quinn holds my arm but I forcefully remove her hand.

I move closer to Rachel as she step back until she reached the wall. Fear and pain are in her eyes, but I don't give a shit_. "What the fuck Rach? I get that you can't help falling in love with me but sleeping with Elle? Really? Are you that desperate to be fucked huh?!" _I angrily accused her.

She looked down and starts to sob._ "I didn't mean to do it. I..I was so drunk." _

_"Vete a la mierda enano! No me vengas con esa mierda!"_ I shout at her, now Quinn is holding my waist preventing me from attacking Berry again. _"Lemme go Q!" I shoot her a sharp glare while I try to break free from her._

_"Please San, don't do things you would regret. Killing Berry is not a good idea."_ Quinn begged me. _"Rachel go back inside the room!" _She ordered firmly to her, but when she didn't move Quinn shouts at her again_. "Now!"_

Rachel's tensed body quickly responds to Quinn's authoritative voice and absently nods then walked away like a scared puppy_. "I'm not done with you yet! Come back here! You can't hide in there forever midget!"_ but she ran quickly inside the room. _"What the hell Q?!"_

She let go of me, _"San, hurting her won't change what happened."_

_"But at least she'll know how bad it hurts." _I retort walking pass her to drink straight my wine. _"That fucking bitch! I thought she was my friend!"_

I sit on the couch and start to cry, my chest feels heavy. I look up to Quinn who is now standing in front of me. "_Why does everyone I love cheats on me? Am I not enough? Do I really deserve to be treated like shit?"_ my voice cracked. "_Britt cheated with wheels and now Elle with my fucking best friend!"_

* * *

**"TEARS,**

**1 percent water and 99 percent feelings."**

**- Luke Parkes**

**QUINN's POV**

Seeing her so hurt and broken makes me want to go to our guest room and yank Rachel's hair, but I've seen Santana worse than this. Not just once but twice actually, first when I broke up with her then the other time was when I chose Charlie over her. If there's someone to be blamed about all of this, it's me. I started this; I was the one who hurt her first.

I kneeled down in front of her and remove the hands that are covering her face. She looks at me with such agony that it made me tear as well. I put my hand behind her head and guide her close to my chest. I let her cry for a while so she would feel better. When her sobs finally settled sown, I start to talk to her again.

_"Sshh, you're perfect San and you're more than anything we could ask for. We're just so stupid to realize that."_ Guilt is visible in my voice. I know it's not enough to let her know how sorry I am to hurt her like that before.

_"Bullshit!"_ she snapped as she pulls away from me and stands up_. "Perfect? Is that why you left me..twice? Because I was so damn perfect?"_ she said reprovingly. _"But you we're fucking right for being stupid." _She scoffs bitterly.

I just close my eyes for a brief moment and deep breathe, _"You don't have any idea how many times I regret not fighting for you San. Every night I close my eyes all I could see and dream is you."_ My voice cracked and I don't care showing my true emotions in front of her. _"But I had no choice San, Russel made sure that I won't go back to you."_

She shook her head and gave me a fake smile, "_We're back in blaming your dead beloved a-hole father huh?"_ she said sarcastically.

I breathe in and out to gain courage on what I am about to say. She may or may not believe it but I don't plan on hiding about this anymore._ "He threatened to kill you San."_ I said in a soft voice.

I could see her expression soften from anger to confusion. So I decided to finally tell her the truth why I didn't fight hard enough during the first time. "He said he wouldn't let me disgrace our family again by being gay. He would rather die in jail by killing you than be humiliated. I had no choice San. So forgive me if I was so stupid to be scared for your life." I managed to say even though I am sobbing.

Her eyes were wide, shock visible on her face. _"I..why didn't you tell me before? I can take care of myself."_ Her voice is calm, still adjusting from the shocking news she just heard from me.

I shook my head, "_I love you too much to risk it."_

_"Then why did you still continue with the wedding."_ She said in a low voice.

I sigh, were back again were we started. _"I explained that to you already before." _She looks at me plainly.

_"Yeah for your child."_ She's not sarcastic that time but I could still feel hurt and disappointment in her voice.

_"I'm sorry."_ I whispered then look away. I sit on the couch because I feel so weak after that talk. It's as if I gave all of my strength to that conversation, maybe this is why we hate talking about feelings. It drains our very soul.

She sits beside me and stares at the fireplace as well. We stayed quiet for a moment and let all the things we've talked about be processed by our already confuse minds.

When I had enough of the deafening silence between us, I start to speak again. _"What's your verdict on Berry?"_ I asked softly.

_"I don't know."_ She said tiredly. _"What I do know is I need time alone so I'll definitely move out. Even after all of this shit, it still out weights the entire good things she did for me."_ I smile still not looking at her_. "Knock off that smile of your face or I will."_ She threatens but I didn't do it.

It made me smile more, _"Look who's being mature now thinking about others, and who would have thought that yo-" _

She cuts me of, _"Fuck it Q, so what, if I did mature? Someone has to."_ She said defensively and rolls her eyes.

_"Relax..gosh, still hot headed as before."_ I said making fun of her temper.

She just shook her head and then frowns. She quickly stands up and looks at me, _"Tell hobbit to give me the whole day to move out, that's if she still want to live."_ Then she starts to walk in the door's direction. _"It's late and I'm exhausted. I'll go home."_

So that's it? We already had the talk, then what's next? Should I just let her walk away again? Fuck this, I need to do something or else she's gone again. When I look on my right side, I saw something beside the phone that made me smile.

_"Hey!"_ I called out to her once she's inside the elevator, she quickly press the hold button. I walk towards her. _"You forgot something."_

Her brows furrowed, _"Nuh uh, I'm not gonna bring home Smurfet-"_

Before she could finish talking, I grab her jacket closer to me and then kiss her on the cheek_, "Call me." _I whispered in her ear with a triumphal smile as I spin around to walk away from her and head for my door.

* * *

**"Forgiveness is NOT about forgetting.**

**It is about LETTING GO of another person's THROAT."**

**- Wm. Paul Young**

**SANTANA's POV**

I surely didn't expect that kiss from her. Good thing she turned around quickly and didn't see how red my face is. Call her? I don't even have her fucking number! Shit! Nice work Lopez. I shook my head while I step out of the elevator and then out of the building. I walk towards my car and when I reach for my keys on my jacket's pocket a felt something.

When I take it out to look at it, I saw a yellow post it with a phone number with a letter Q above it. I look up at the building and smile. . Well, guess I do have her number. I thought to myself.

When I got home, I saw Kurt waiting for me in the living room. Right after I close the door he walks in front of me.

"Satan, I understand that Rachel made a mistake but don't you think slapping her is a little too much? She's your best friend you know?" I close my eyes trying hard to not shout at him. Looks like Rachel already called him. Good so I won't have to repeat everything that happened.

After I know that I'm calm, I let out a deep sigh. "Hummel, she asked for it. She already screwed up when she fell in love with me but having sex with Elle is beyond fuckup." I snapped at him. "She should have thought of that before fucking my girl." I said in a firm voice.

"She didn't mean for it to happen. You had no idea how many times she cried while we're in Lima. That's why she can't even face you at that time without feeling guilty." He's voice is like pleading for forgiveness in behalf of Berry.

I walk away from him and sit on the sofa. "She should've talk to me about it. And I'm gonna tell you this, but I swear if you let Hobbit know about this you're done." He nods. "I love Rach more than I loved Elle."

Kurt looked at me with his questioning eyes, "What do you mean?"

I sigh, "I realized that I didn't really 'love' Elle, I was just so eager to forget Quinn that after seeing their similarities I convinced myself that I do love her." I explained to him, I look down so ashamed of what I did. "After I break up with her, I felt relieved. I guess I just loved her as a friend. I was hurt more about what Rachel did not because Elle cheated on me."

He nods and sits beside me, "So what happens now?"

I avoid his gaze, I look down. "I'll pack my things and move out. I already made some calls so I'm out of here before noon tomorrow but for now I need to rest Kurt. I feel so exhausted." I said weakly as I stand and head to my room. "I'm willing to forgive her just..not now okay? Please tell her that." I said as I enter my room.

* * *

**"But we can't go back,**

**we can only go forward."**

**- Libba Bray**

I had a hard time sleeping last night, just like the other night and the night before that. I stopped counting actually. Even brandy or jack won't help me sleep peacefully at night.

It's been a month since that shitty day and after I deactivated my face book and change my number, I never heard from Rachel again. Kurt told me she's on tour for three weeks now and I'm actually relieved she's out of the country. My anger subsided already but seeing her is another thing. I still don't trust myself not to let Snix out and slap her again.

I never had the courage to text or call Quinn but I kept her number in case I grew some balls to do so. For now, I'm distracting myself by being busy with work. Dancing really keeps me preoccupied somehow.

"Take five guys." Marco, our stage choreographer instructed us.

"Wew, finally! I can't feel my feet anymore!" Damian, my co-dancer, exaggeratedly complains from our two hours straight rehearsal.

I shook my head and smile. We're about to go down the stage when I saw a familiar woman standing near the entrance. I close my eyes for a brief second and then sigh as she walks down the steps closer to me.

"Santana." She greeted. No smile just hesitant face.

I look for Marco who is not far from where I am standing, also looking to the both of us.

"Can I have at least twenty minutes? I just need to talk to..umm..a friend." I asked for his permission.

Everyone looked at us as I approach her. The tension between the two of us is very obvious to the people around us. She followed me when I went out of the door. Away from every one where we could talk privately.

* * *

**TRANSLATIONS:**

**Fuck you midget! Don't give me that shit! = **Vete a la mierda enano! No me vengas con esa mierda!

**So there it is...I tried to make their conversation light as possible. Hope I covered the concerns that was brought up to my attention...:) Thanks again for being observant and critics.. I really appreciate it. ^_^**

**Now I can move on with the FINAL CHAPTER.. yey! **

**And for the guest who comment** **(****_no more please)_****, I'm sorry but I can't do that. :( There are still others who would like to read this and I owe it to them to finish the story...right guys? :) **

**Anyways, just one more chapter and this story is 'no more'. So I hope (fingers crossed) there are people who still appreciates this story..:)**


	13. Everything Is About Forgiveness part 2

**This chapter will only contain Santana's POV., while the second is Quinn's POV and the third is the epilogue. I wanted to put it in just one chapter but it'll be too long so I cut it into three chapters..But still it was just like one very long ENDING..:D**

**I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of those who spent time reading this and write their precious comments, those who didn't hesitated to click follow and favorite. LOL I really appreciate all of it..^_^**

**I'm happy to gain friends here as well..:) Thanks for the support..! You know who you are guys.. (..wink..)**

**Anyways, here's part 1.. Enjoy reading..^_^**

* * *

"**There ain't no way you can hold on**

**to someone that wants to go, you understand?**

**You can only love what you got**

**while you got it."**

**- Kate DiCamillo**

**SANTANA's POV**

I stop walking once I reached the end of the hallway, good thing that my group is inside and so we could freely talk here without someone interrupting us.

She sighs, her head bowed down while she fidgets with her fingers._ "I missed you. San."_ She whispered. I could hear uneasiness in her tone and a lot of hesitation, maybe she's scared I would make fun of anything that would come out of her mouth. I wish I could but I wouldn't, not this time.

I just look at her, my arms folded in front of me with my expression hard as a rock. I never really expected to see her so soon, how could she have the audacity to show her face to me right now. Maybe I'm not really over the fact that she made a fool out of me by sleeping with Rachel.

_"Is that all you have to say to me, because I need to get back inside."_ I said with acidity in my voice. Can you blame me for treating her like this? She was my girl friend; she can't just have sex with anyone and give a shitty excuse of being drunk. That's just so unacceptable!

I heard her sigh again,_ "I know everything is still fresh but you can't stop me from hoping you would give me another chance."_ this time she move closer to me, as her eyes search for mine._ "I need you San. Please give me one more chance to prove how much I love you. I regret all the things that I've said and done."_ Her eyes are starting to become red, I am very aware that her tears will soon fall.

I need out from this, how could I tell her that the reason I can't give her another chance is because I never really loved her the way she did. Is there a better way to say it? If ever there is then I'm all ears._ "Please don't do this."_ I wanted to say it in a firm voice so she would get the message but I couldn't. I can't really intentionally hurt her after all.

_"Are we really over San, just like that?"_ Believe me, there are a lot of hurtful things that I wanted to say to her just to answer that question. But instead I bit my inner cheek and just nod at her; I am tired of all the fighting and yelling just to have my point across to someone.

She starts to sob now while she leans into the cold wall, so much disappointment and hurt in her face. _"I was unfair to you Elle when I thought that I could teach my heart whom to love. Instead of giving you a chance for me to love you for whom you are. I forced myself to think that you're the best of both women that I loved before."_ I feel so ashamed of what I am saying right now but I have to be honest for her once and for all._ "Until even I, believed that lie. I'm not aware that I'm starting to make things worse. You're a great friend just..just not as my girl friend."_

I could see how my words start to make her world crumbling down. Guilt is the first emotion I feel right now, then followed by pity, sadness and lastly regret. I wish I could do something to prevent this from happening, but this is the only way we could both free ourselves.

I walk closer to her as I watch the tears freely flowing on her cheeks. Am I a monster? I do feel guilty for making her cry like this but I can't lie to myself anymore._ "Say something, Elle."_ I said softly.

She looked me in the eyes as she lowers her gaze into my lips and then back to my eyes again._ "What do you want me to say? You want me to lie to you and tell you that I am happy? You want to hear that I'll be fine with this, just to ease your conscience?"_ she snapped then moves closer to me invading my personal space. _"I can't do that. I'm that selfish, San."_ She whispered.

I step back a little to put some space between us, not that I'm scared I would kiss her or anything, it's just that I don't think too much closeness will help us in our situation right now. "You're not selfish Elle, you never were. You're full of respect and love, that's what I like about you." I said and I mean every word.

_"Can't you even use that as a reason to forgive me and start again?"_ I want to stop looking at her begging eyes, just to see her like that makes me feel so guilty. _"Never in my whole life, that I ever wanted someone so bad that I'm willing to get down on my knees and beg."_ Oh for fuck's sake, she's going to cry again.

I shook my head, "Hey, don't say that. I just can't anymore, okay? Please respect that." I'm really hoping Marco would find us and tell me to go back inside. I think it was clear already that there would be no second chance for both of us. She just needs to wrap her mind into it and live with it.

She let out a deep sigh then looked me straight in the eyes, _"San.._" Damn those sad eyes, but I need to be firm on this. I can't lead her on; it'll be unfair for the both of us. I breathe in and out to gather some courage to finally end this conversation.

I look straight to her and show her how serious I am on what I'm about to say, _"You hurt me Elle when you cheated on me with my best friend You both hurt me so much that I can't even trust anyone right now."_ She looked down but I reach for her face to look at me again. _"That's how badly you messed up Elle and I know I did too. I won't say that I cannot forgive you in the future because Britt and I became friends again after she cheated on me, but what I can assure you is that I will try my best to forgive you."_

I waited for her to respond, just to say anything or to tell me how sorry she was. _"Is this has something to do with Quinn?"_ I was expecting her to say anything, just not this. I don't think I know the answer for that anyway.

I sigh,_ "I don't know."_ I avoided her gaze and start to move away from her._ "Maybe. I'm gonna be real to you Elle. I do want to be with her but I'm not sure if I can trust anyone right now. I still feel like a mess because of all this things."_

_"Oh, I see."_ That's all she could utter and suddenly she looks defeated. All the passion and eagerness I saw a while ago are all gone. Now her shoulders are down while her head bowed down. _"So it's really over then?"_ her voice cracked but her gaze is still not meeting mine.

_"Yes."_ I managed to answer her in a soft tone. _"But please be okay with this Elle."_

Finally when she looks up to me, my heart broke when she gave me fake smile. She breathes deep and bit her lip._ "I will be I just need time, someday maybe."_

_"I really hope someday when we see each other, we could be friends."_ I sincerely said while I reach for her hands and squeeze it. _"I mean it."_

She nods. I always thought that when someone is crying while she smiles means it's a happy tear but in her case it's definitely not it. I could see how hard this is for her, the pain in her eyes don't hide much even if she tries to cover it up with that smile.

I can't take it any longer, I pulled her in for a hug and that instant she burst into loud sobs. I don't know what words to say so I just close my eyes and let myself cry too._ "Before anything else I just want you to know that I love you so much Santana."_ She whispered in my ear in between her sobs. _"And because of that I'm willing to let you go, even if it's killing me inside."_ My heart became even heavier with that.

We stayed like that for some minutes and then when we both settled down from all the crying, we pulled away from each other slowly._ "Thank you San, I needed that."_ She said with such gratefulness in her eyes as we both wipe the remaining tears in our faces.

_"Take care of yourself."_ She just nods as she gives me a weak smile then land a quick kiss on my cheek. I close my eyes to avoid seeing more sadness in her eyes.

_"They say you will never realize the importance of something not until it was gone._" Regrets, that's what she's showing to me right now. _"I'm so sorry for causing you pain and being stupid for doing it."_ She said sadly then let out a deep sigh. _"Bye San."_ She whispered as she turns around.

I watch her as she walks away from me. Someone always needs to say goodbye even if hurts inside. I wanted to tell her how sorry I am for causing her pain too. I wanted her to know how grateful I am to her for giving me all the best she could give even if I didn't gave her enough in return. I really wish she could find someone who could make her happy.

_"Goodbye."_ I said which is eventually followed by a deep sigh.

* * *

"**Forgiveness is a gift of high value.**

**Yet its cost is nothing."**

**- Betty Smith**

When I came home after work, I saw a bouquet of pink and white tulips down on my front door. I picked it up, very confused to whom it might be from. I didn't bother to lift the small card to its place. I could perfectly see what's written on it.

**-0000-0000-0000-0000-0000-**

**Santana,**

**Sorry for all the things I've done.**

**But if you still care to start over please have dinner with me tonight?**

**6 o'clock at Sirio Ristorante near Central Park.**

**-0000-0000-0000-0000-0000-**

Only one person came into my mind after seeing these tulips and that would be Rachel. I shook my head as I open the door and go inside my apartment. I place the bouquet on top of my center table and stare at it while I remove my coat. There's only one thing to find out if I was right if this is from her.

As I lazily sit on my couch, I reached out for the phone and dial Kurt's phone. Still gazing at the flowers while I wait for Kurt to pick up, am I ready to see her again?

_"Hello? Hummel Berry abode."_

_"For fuck sakes Hummel, you still haven't changed your answering spiel shit?"_ I laughed at him.

_"Well hello to you to Satan._" He greeted me. _"What's up?"_

I need to be straight to the point; I didn't call him to ask how his day was and such shits. _"Is she back?"_ I asked seriously.

I heard a sigh, _"Yes. She came home this morning. But she'll be just for two days I guess."_ And then he stops. _"Why?"_

I knew it! It was from her._ "She sent me flowers and asked me to dinner."_ I plainly said.

_"Oh."_ That is not a shock oh. _"You know about this?_" I asked in an annoyed tone.

He let out a deep sigh,_ "Maybe? She asked for your address last night, she said that she needs to tell you something and it's very important."_

I rolled my eyes with that; I gave him one instruction to never give her my new address._ "I don't think I'm ready to see her yet Kurt. It's only been weeks."_ I said in a please-try-to-understand kind of tone.

Honestly, I miss hanging out with them. They were annoying most of the times but all of those years that we lived together, I learned to love them for their annoying selves. We helped each other through ups and downs; irritate each other most of the time but by the end of the day we still consider each other as family. Because that's what we really are, so when Rachel did that to me it hurt like hell. No family can do that to each other.

_"Just try, San. You definitely need to hear what she has to say."_ He sighs.

_"I'll think about it."_ He's about to say something but I quickly ended the call.

I look again on the bouquet she gave me and contemplates on whether I am going or not. I just sit there and stare at the flowers until an hour passed, then another hour. It's six in the evening already when I made a decision.

I get up and went inside my bedroom to change to more comfortable clothes.

* * *

"**I've been burdened with blame**

**trapped in the past for too long,**

**I'm moving on."**

**- Rascall Flatts**

I heard loud knocks on the door. When I looked at my bedside clock it was already nine in the evening. I have a feeling that it is Berry, and I was right. When I opened it I see a sad Rachel with a bouquet of tulips in her hands. She offered it to me but I didn't accept it.

I remained blocking the door; I still want to have the chance to slam the door into her face when she starts to annoy me. But I changed my mind eventually when I saw how sad she is.

She sighs, _"I'm sorry to go here so late. But can we talk?"_ then she looked around her and saw two people talking outside their apartment door. _"Inside, please?"_ she begged.

I was expecting her to be mad for ditching her tonight, but she didn't seem to care. I moved aside to let her in which she did. She removes her coat and folds it in her arms. I gestured for her to sit on the couch as I walk towards it. But she didn't, instead she stood in front of me.

_"I know I am the last person that you want to see right now, but I want to say that I'm really sorry Santana for what I did."_ Looking at her like this makes me sad. _"This past month was the worst four weeks of my entire existence here on earth, so please say you'll forgive me."_ She begged, her eyes are starting to water. I bit my lip, fuck she seems different. She's so sad and exhausted, two things that I hate seeing on my friend's faces; especially to those I love the most.

We both sigh,_ "Elle came today and we finally end everything between us."_ I said softly as she sits beside me on the couch. I look at her and this time I could see guilt in her eyes._ "I felt relieved after. Finally I can be honest to myself and get what I really want."_

_"You mean who you really want?"_ she quickly said but she smiled at me and I did the same. Her tone is not sarcastic or hurt; it's just like a comment of a friend talking to one another. I don't have to tell her that she's forgiven, she could feel it.

_"Yeah."_ I said while I reach for her hand and squeeze it. _"Honestly, just a few hours ago I thought of slapping you the next time that we will see again."_ I said smirking when I saw her bewildered face. But when she move away, that's when I burst into laughter.

Her brows furrowed_, "Y..you wouldn't do that, w..would you?"_ she asked really scared._ "I'm still having nightmares with that slap you gave me."_

_"Of course not! I said, 'I thought' I didn't say that 'I want', okay? So relax._" I could see her face relieved. _"But seriously, what you did was shit Berry."_

She let out a deep sigh, _"I know and believe me I regret it."_ She looked at me apologetically. I nod at her showing that I do believe her.

_"Come here."_ I said as I extend my arms to hug her. She quickly wraps her arms on my waist as I envelop her in mine._ "Just don't do that again or I swear smurfette I will ends you."_ I said in a soft but joking tone to ease the tension because I could feel her body shake lightly. She's crying.

I could still feel something strange in her embrace but I chose not to mind it. I know she's trying to forget me. Rachel can take care of her self when it comes to heart breaks. That's what I admire about her, it's really amazing how she handled her bizarre relationships with Finn and Brody before. She will get over it soon and things will be back to normal. If not then, I'll slap her again and again until she hates me. Nah, I was just kidding but seriously, I could really see how she's trying to act normal like now. And it's a good thing.

When we both let go of each other, she wipe her tears. I smiled at her and tap her lap. _"Thank you Santana."_

_"So what now?_" I stand up and go to my kitchen, which is just across the couch, to get something to drink. _"Want beer?"_ I asked her while swaying the cold bottle. She nods then I went back and sit on the couch. _"How's your tour?"_

She takes the bottle and sip, _"It was crazy but I didn't enjoyed it that much, I was not in the mood but I'm sure I'll enjoy our next destination, especially now that we're okay again."_ She gave me a nudge and sweet smile._ "Next stop is London. We came back to arrange something in the studio then we're back on tour."_

_"London, hmm. Maybe you'll see Elle and Quinn there."_ I just said plainly, trying to have a small talk. But her reaction surprised me.

She took a huge gulp which made me look at her suspiciously. How come she's more nervous now than a few minutes ago? _"Hmm, Berry is there something I need to know?"_ I squint and observe her.

She swallowed hard then takes another huge gulp of the beer. She breathes in and out for a moment trying to calm her nerves. I just let her; I know if I'll interrupt her with this, she won't have the guts to tell me. And from what I'm seeing, it's about something I'm sure I will be mad at her.

_"I ..I have something to tell you, and please don't hate me or slap me again. I swear I wanted to tell you about it but Britt and Kurt said that it won't help you move on."_ She stands up and start to pace in front of me without even looking at me. She just walk there through and from with her hands rising nervously._ "I really wanted to tell you, I swear, when Quinn told me about it, I really wa-"_

I was trying to understand her babbling but when she mentioned Quinn's name, that's just about it. I stand up and place my arm on both of her shoulders to stop her from walking. _"What do you mean Quinn? What did she told you?"_ I asked her confused. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. _"Berry I swear if you don't speak up I'm gonna slap yo-"_

_"Russell threatened to kill you before!"_ She blurted out. My hands drop on my sides and stare at her in disbelief. All of them knew about it and no one even cared to tell me something?

I shook my head as I turn away from her, _"When? When did you found out about it?"_ I asked her angrily. She's crying again but answers anyway, _"The night you met Elle. We were in the car and I was telling Quinn to choose already because I don't want to see you hurting like that. Then things got heated, I told her she's a coward for not fighting for you before and then that's when she told us about it."_

_"Us? You mean Sam and Puck?_" I said trying to recall our friends who came with them that night.

She just nods. _"Why didn't you tell me? Why any of you didn't say a word? Are you really my friends or what?!"_ I snapped in disappointment with her.

She looks up to me,_ "Would it matter that time? You were beyond hurt Santana. And she made it clear that nothing would change even if you knew about it. Because she still wants to marry Charlie for the child, so forgive me for trying to protect you for further heart ache!"_ she snapped at me.

I let out a deep sigh. She's right about one thing, it wouldn't matter that time even if I'll know about it. Quinn will still marry him and I will be hurt more, feeling guilty for Quinn.

I can understand her point that she only wanted to protect me but she should have been honest with me._ "Fine, I'll let this one slip but no more secrets. And next time talk to me especially if it concerns me. Not to Kurt, Britt or anyone, understood?"_ I said in a firm voice.

She nods, _"So does this mean you forgive me, again?"_

I rolled my eyes at her as I let myself fall on the couch,_ "Q told me already about it anyways, I was just pissed that you kept it from me. You all did"_

She sits beside me,_ "Again San, I'm sorry. We love you and we don't want you to blame yourself."_

_"Whatever."_ I said as I took a sip from my own bottle.

_"This is a beautiful arrangement, who is it from?"_ I head snapped on her direction with my mouth and eyes wide open. Rachel for always being so nosy picks up the small card and reads it._ "Oh, it's from Q."_ I snatch the card from her hand with terror in my eyes.

_"Fuck!"_ there is something written at the back of the small card!

**-0000-0000-0000-0000-0000-**

**PS: If you won't show up,**

**then I'll take that as a no for the clean slate**

**and I won't bother you anymore.**

**-Quinn**

**-0000-0000-0000-0000-0000-**

_"Oh my god San, is this tonight?"_ I looked at her and nod, absent-minded. My whole body suddenly tensed._ "What are you waiting for? Go to her!"_ Rachel exclaimed. She had no idea how I want to, but my fucking body won't move. _"Oh for goodness sake San, come on!"_ She grabs me and drag me up the couch, out into the door.

I let Rachel push me out of the apartment and down to her car. She took the card out of my hands to look at the name of the place. _"I thought it was just you._" I said softly, still in shock.

_"Okay, I'll pretend that I didn't hear that."_ She rolled her eyes._ "Don't worry, it's only..um.."_ she glance on her watch and then bit her lip. _"…eleven thirty."_ She whispered as she looks at me worriedly.

_"It's more than five hours Rachel, she would never wait that long."_ I said to her losing hope already. We both sigh.

When she stopped the car, I hurriedly step out and almost ran inside the restaurant but a tall man blocked my way._ "I'm sorry ma'am but we're already closed. Actually the place was reserved but she already went home thirty minutes ago."_

When I heard it, I couldn't help but cry. If I only checked the back of the card I would have known that it's Quinn. She waited for more than five fucking hours. She must have feel really hurt for waiting here tonight for nothing. _"Hey, I'll drive you home. Come on._" Rachel said as she took my hand and lead me inside her car.

The ten minutes travel was very silent. I just let my tears fall. I cursed myself mentally for being so stupid and not nosy like Berry. I let out a sigh when we reached my apartment.

She was about to go out of her car when I stopped her, _"You don't have to go up. Thank you for coming with me. I just want to be alone._" I said in a monotonous tone, I didn't wait for her reply and step out of the car straight inside my building.

I walk out of the elevator like a zombie. When I saw my door that's when I realized that I don't have my keys with me. _"Fucking door!_" I exclaimed as I kick it and yelp in pain. This is why I hate automatic doors; you don't have to use keys to lock it. I reach for my phone in my pocket and call my co dancer and ex owner of this apartment, Rebecca. She moved in with her boyfriend on the second floor unit two months ago and offered me this.

_"Hello?"_

_"Hey Becca, I'm so sorry to call in so late. Are you home right now? I was in a hurry to go out a while ago and I forgot to grab my keys."_

She softly chuckles,_ "Wow, good thing Matt still has his spare. We'll be there in a few we're now walking back home; Matt said there's a hot girl next door if you want to stay there for a while."_ Then I heard laughter on the background.

_"Yeah right, well I'm not interested in her so, just hurry your asses up here."_ I said and then end the call.

I let out a deep sigh. I stare at my phone and debate with myself if I should call her and explain or just text her. I figured five hours waiting deserves to receive a call to apologize. When I dialed her number, I felt sad when it didn't ring. Her phone is off and the call went straight to voice mail.

_"Hey, I know you're pissed off right now for thinking I didn't want to see you. It was an honest mistake, why would someone write something on the back of a card? Are you stupid or what? Anyways, call me please? If I knew it was you I would have gone there in a heartbeat. You had no idea how much-"_ I stopped talking when I heard the end beep sound indicating that I have to stop. _"Dammit!"_

I heard someone chuckle behind me and I was ready to kick some ass but almost had a heart attack when I saw who it was. My blood quickly left my face as my body turned cold. I tighten my grip on my phone to see if I am only dreaming. But when she spoke, that's when I knew this is not a dream. She is really here, in front of me looking gorgeous as ever on her red knee length dress.

_"I have no idea of what?"_ she softly said while she walks toward me. She has this grin on her face and I could see that she's in control of the situation right now, rendering me speechless as my eyes look at her hot figure. When finally she's just an arm length away from me, I step backwards but panicked when my back reached the door. _"Tell me San."_ Quinn's voice is so seductive, is she trying to kill me by making me sweat to death?_ "I'm very interested to know."_

I swallowed hard when she licked her lips. I could smell the alcohol from her breath. Fuck, is she drunk? I quickly unlocked my phone and type a text.

**Becca hurry! I need those damn keys now! –S**

* * *

**There is the first part. So did I missed anything? :)**

**I'm almost done with the second part, you could tell me if I did miss something so I could add it up on the next one. ^_^**

**Hope you all liked it..:)**


	14. Everything Is About Forgiveness part 3

**Update update update! :)**

**Sorry it took days before I upload this, I had to make sure to finish the Epilogue first..(no reason..hehe)**

**So this is it.. Quinn's POV. Enjoy and Review? ^_^**

* * *

**"If your are meant to be together forever,**

** you will survive any obstacle or trouble that comes to you."**

**_- Virginia Dockerty_**

Everything looks perfect, the flower arrangements, candle lights and the scrumptious food. All I need to do is to wait for her. Just like how I waited for her to call me for a month, which she never did by the way. I understand that she still has issues with Liz and Rachel that's why I gave her a bit of time. I know Santana; she won't end the day without fixing everything around her. But I guess I really don't know her after all, because she never did call me.

My nerves are killing me right now, it's already six fifteen and there is still no Santana walking through the restaurant doors. I didn't even realize that I am already tapping the fork impatiently on the table. _"Ms. Fabray, is there something you want me to get you while waiting for your friend?"_ The manager of the restaurant asked me, I bet he could see that I am very nervous about this.

_"Just water, please."_ I answered. He gave me a smile and instructs a waiter to pour my glass with water. When they both walked away, I drank most of the water. How come drinking it doesn't satisfy my thirst? Gosh, I am so nervous.

_"Where are you, San."_ I whispered as I look at my watch for the 'nth time tonight.

It's already past eight but still no sign of her. My mind starts to realize that she's really not coming tonight. I can't even describe how I am feeling right now. How can she not even text me to say that she can't make it or she doesn't want to talk anymore? The pain I am feeling in my chest is too much to bear while I am sober, so I motioned for the waiter to pour my wine glass.

Shit! Even the waiter looks like he feels sorry for me for being stood up. I shook my head as tears starts to fall now on my cheeks. _"Leave the bottle._" I instructed him with a cracked voice. He was hesitant at first as he looks for approval at his manager which gave him a nod.

Drinking in public was never my thing, especially crying while drinking. But can you blame me? I drank a bottle and half of red wine so I guess that is why the restaurant is really spinning right now. I laughed at myself. I've been stuck here for five fucking hours waiting, hoping she would come. I will accept every excuse she will give me, I just want her to be here.

I kept repeating in my head on what I wrote on that stupid card, if ever I did write something wrong. Wait, what if she didn't read the back of the card? 'Yeah right Fabray; just accept the fact that she doesn't want you anymore in her life' My annoying inner voice said. Even without further thinking I grab my coat and groggily put it on me. The manager came by my rescue and support me until I reach my car.

It was a good thing I called Peter a while ago because there is no way I'll be driving or walking drunk home tonight. I didn't realize I fell asleep in the car but the stupidest thing I did was not telling my driver that I am not going home yet. I guess I was too drunk to think straight. He assumed I am going home.

I let out a deep sigh. It feels like my headache is getting worst. _"Fuck! Peter, bring me to where you drop off the flowers this morning."_ I could see he was surprised but followed my order anyways.

We reached the building in less than fifteen minutes. I asked him to accompany me upstairs where he left the tulips I bought for Santana. When the elevator is just a few inch from closing I think I saw Rachel walking towards the main entrance. I was too drunk to move and maybe my eyes were just fooling me so I didn't pay any attention. Once we reached the eighth floor and walk into Santana's front door, I knock a couple of times.

_"Santana!"_ I shouted while banging the door so hard with the sides of my hands.

_"Hey, no one is in there. I saw her a while ago downstairs with someone."_ The woman that came out from the elevator informed me. I let out a sigh then try to find a spot where I could wait for her to come home.

I am so drunk and if I don't sit any time soon, I will hurl. Good thing there is an exit stairway not far across Santana's door so I let Peter guide me there. I told him to just wait for me in the car and I will just call him if I needed him. So I just sit on the stairs and left the exit door open so I could hear Santana when she arrives.

After fifteen minutes of waiting I decided that it's time for me to give up. I breathe in and out to gather my strength before standing up. I was now ready to call Peter when I saw that my phone died already. _"Urg! Stupid phone!"_ I was so frustrated right now so I throw it on the wall and it was broken into a million pieces. I'm trying to steady my gait when I heard the elevator's ding and then soon followed by a voice and a thud. _"Fucking door!_"

When I peak on the exit door, my heart leaps in relief that she is fine. But then sadness took over me, remembering the long hours I waited for her. She's still facing her door angrily trying to break the handle; it looks like she forgot her key. I just leaned on the wall and watch her, waiting for her to turn around.

_"Hey Becca, I'm so sorry to call in so late. Are you home right now? I was in a hurry to go out a while ago and I forgot to grab my keys." __She said to someone on the phone, maybe her old roommate._

_"Yeah right, well I'm not interested in her so, just hurry your asses up here." __I had no idea what they're talking about but it made me think if, should I be happy that she's not interested or should I be hurt because they might be talking about me._

_I close my eyes a bit to ease the spinning and ready myself to go back inside the exit door. Maybe tonight is not a good time to see her. I was about to move silently when I heard her speaking again._

_"Hey, I know you're pissed off right now for thinking I didn't want to see you. It was an honest mistake, why would someone write something on the back of a card? Are you stupid or what? Anyways, call me please? If I knew it was you I would have gone there in a heartbeat. You had no idea how much-"_

_I quickly opened my eyes when I realized who she is calling right now. I knew it, she wouldn't ditch me. __"Dammit!" __I can't help but chuckle on her cuteness; she's really cute when she's frustrated with something._

_"I have no idea of what?" __I said softly as I walk towards her, fighting the headache I'm feeling right now. I'm not supposed to grin but seeing her face turning white is really adorable. She looks like she just seen a ghost. _

_I think I became sober in an instant, just being near her drives me crazy and I want to closer to her so I walk towards her again. It was hard for me not to laugh for seeing how nervous she is while backing away from me. When she finally reached the door, I decided to step up my game and tease her. __"Tell me San. I'm very interested to know."_

I just watch her while she types a message on her phone. Suddenly the spinning is back again, and this time it is worse. _"Are you okay Q?"_ she asked me worriedly as she help me stand straight. _"How many have you had?"_

I think closing my eyes made it even worse. Oh, my! I can't fight it anymore, I need to lie down soon or I'm gonna pass out. Shit it's too late!

* * *

**"If tomorrow,**

** I found one more chance to begin,**

** I'd love you all over again."**

**- Alan Jackson**

I am always nervous around Santana. Just seeing her staring back at me with those gorgeous eyes makes my knees feel week, even if I'm just lying on her bed. The spinning is gone after I slept more than three hours but the headache is still very much present. I look at her bed side clock to know the time. It's only four in the morning but Santana looks like she never had sleep yet. Did she just watch me sleep?

She let out a deep sigh, standing up from the study chair and hand me a glass of water with two aspirins. I took it and pop the two medicines into my mouth then flush it with water. Santana just stands there beside the bed with her arms crossed, looking at me concerned. I gave her a sly smile as I put down the glass on her bedside table.

"_So, are you sober now?"_ she asked, squinting trying to see any sign of alcohol in my system. I nod at her which I eventually regret because of the headache. I quickly put my hands on my head. Urg! _"You okay?"_ she sits on the bed.

"_Yeah, just a headache."_ I let out a sigh, _"Sorry about last night."_ I started; there's no point in prolonging my agony, so why not talk about it now while I still can.

"_Which one?"_ she asked smirking. "_Is it fact that you made me carry your fat ass inside or for passing out on me outside of my door that made me looked like a kidnapper?"_

I chuckled, _"Both, I guess?" _Then she laughs while shaking her head.

She stands and went straight to her drawer, after that she hands me a t-shirt and a boy shorts. _"I was hesitant to change your dress last night, sorry if I made you sleep on those. I..I just..I'm j..jus not s..sure if-"_ She stutters. So I thought of saving her by cutting her off.

"_It's okay."_ I accepted it and carefully stand up from the bed. _"Is this your bathroom?" _I ask while pointing on the door beside her vanity mirror.

She nods, _"There's new toothbrush on the right side cabinet and towels too. I'll be in the kitchen making breakfast." _

After nodding at her, I went inside the bathroom and close it. I lean my back on the door while I try to calm myself. This is it. I won't go home unless everything is completely cleared out between us. I let a deep sigh then start to freshen up.

I can smell the aroma of coffee as I walk towards the kitchen, Santana's very busy preparing breakfast while listening to her iPod. I sit on the stool and watch her while smiling. How could I let that years passed by without her in my life? Is it maybe because she's always in my heart? That's full of shit!

_"I want to wake up like this every day."_ I said softly, I know she wouldn't hear me anyways. When she turns around she removes her headphones and hand me a plate of pancakes and a cup of coffee. _"Thanks."_

_"Eat up, I have a rehearsal around ten so we still have time to talk."_ She said casually as she sit across me and drink her own coffee.

So she likes talking now, and I must admit that I love that idea. It is good to always talk about your feelings, right? Keeping them inside wouldn't bring a relationship any good, even if it is friendship or as a couple. In our case, we had a lot to talk about.

After I had my last bite of food she finally speak, _"So, dinner huh?"_ she said smirking while playing with her cup. I look down; suddenly ashamed of what happened last night.

"Yeah, um.. sorry if it was so out of the blue. I ..I waited for you to call me but you never did." There was sadness in my voice.

She let out a deep sigh,_ "Sorry about that. I wanted to call you but.."_ she stop in midsentence, her tone unsure whether she would continue it or not but then decides to continue after sighing. _"I was scared to be hurt again."_ She looks down to avoid my gaze.

Again, I feel guilty for what she's feeling right now. I need to do or say something to make her feel okay. _"I won't hurt you intentionally, not this time._" I said with pure honesty, she looks up and stare at my eyes. When finally she sees that I mean every word, her face lit up.

I stand up and walk around the kitchen counter to get to her side. I could feel my heart's loud beating and its rate is becoming crazy fast as I step every inch closer to Santana. She bit her lip and looks down when she realized that I am near her. I caress her right shoulder and slid my hand down up to her hand, feeling the tenderness of her caramel skin, slowly. I could feel her body tense on my touch. "Please, trust me." It's almost a whisper from me.

I squeeze her hand, trying to get a response from what I just said. Of any indication that she wants this too, that she wants me. She sighs then look into my eyes, _"If I trust you Quinn, would you promise to be faithful?"_

I nod and smile at her, _"If things get rough between us, would you promise that you'll never leave ever?"_

I nod, _"What if everything seems not right, would you promise to be patient?"_ and I nod again._ "Shit Quinn, aren't gonna say something?"_ she said annoyed withdrawing her hand from mine.

I smile, she looks cute right now; annoyed and pouting but I figured better not to tease her further._ "It's because I'd rather do it all than make promises San. But if you want to hear it then, fine."_ I said calmly.

"_If you'll entrust your heart to me again, this time I'll make sure not to break it. I will hold it dearly like it's the most fragile thing in the world; I will never do stupid things that will lose your trust, as I trust you with my life."_ I cupped her face, and look straight into the eyes_. "I accept and love everything about you, Snix or not, I will never stop until I fully understand where you're coming from. Believe it or not Santana, all of those years that we're not together, I never stopped loving you._"

Her eyes glitters; I could see that she felt the honesty in my words. I could feel my heart beating like a drum in my chest and suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. I closed the gap between us when I lean in for a kiss, it was slow and controlled. We have all the time in the world now; we don't need to rush things because we both know, this time we're here to stay, for good.

I broke the kiss and rested my forehead against hers, panting. Once our breathing became normal again, she leaned in and crush her lips to mine. I didn't have to brush my tongue on her lips to let me in; it was already open waiting for me to take control.

She stands up and makes me lean my back on the kitchen counter, while her right hand supports the back of my neck and the other is on my waist. I let my hands run freely to feel her body. I could feel my knees getting weaker because of excitement and being so aroused at the same time. She must have felt it because without breaking the kiss, she leads me into the couch.

She broke the kiss for just a second to make me sit, we are both out of breath and I almost lost all of mine when she removed her shirt. So this is really gonna happen, isn't it so fast? Shit, we have to stop and I know I will regret this.

I don't think I could stop this, it just felt so damn good to be pressed this close to her. The way she trail kisses on my neck and touch all the sensitive part of my chest, it made me lose my sanity. So before I totally give in, I slightly push her back. She looks at me very confused, _"We need to take things slow San."_ I managed to say even though it almost seems like I am running out of breath.

_"I'm sorry, I..I just lost control."_ She said shyly while she sits beside me.

I sit up straight and face her. _"No it's okay, it's just that I want to..umm..to take you out on a date first?"_ Now it's my turn to be shy. I look away to avoid her gaze when I heard her giggle I turn my head back at her, confused.

_"Of course I would love to go on a date with you!_" she said excitedly.

_"Perfect. Tonight then?"_ she nods and then wink at me.

_"So, um.. San?"_ I said while my head is resting on her shoulder. I can stay like this forever, cuddling with her.

_"Umm?"_ she answers.

_"Thank you."_ I said softly. "_For the second chance._"

_"Yup, thanks too."_ I look up to her confused. _"For wanting a second chance?"_ Then she winks at me and pulls me closer to her.

I can't help but smile when she hugs me tight, I am very happy right now. I missed her so much and this time I will never let her go.

* * *

**Epilogue: (date)..(Nathan)..(surprise!) haha**

**Thanks for reading..^_^ Comments?**


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